


Darling I'm Not Right For You (But I Still Love You)

by CharlieLeau



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Island, F/M, Friendship, Goth Felicity, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Secret Identity, past abuse (nothing explicit)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 21:42:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 42,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12177099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieLeau/pseuds/CharlieLeau
Summary: She wanted a second chance. She wanted it more than she had ever wanted anything before. She wanted it so bad it made her whole body ache.And it was so close to her now, she could almost touch it. She could feel the warm promises of a new life on her heart. If she reached out, she could grab it.But first, she needed to get rid of the past.She needed to get rid of herself.And she would do it without looking back. She would walk out of her life and wouldn’t look back.





	Darling I'm Not Right For You (But I Still Love You)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bothfangirls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bothfangirls/gifts).



> This one's for you Angela  
> Thank you for being my friend <3  
> (Happy VERY belated birthday)
> 
>  
> 
> (Also, this was inspired by Hawaii 5-0 season 4, episode 4)  
> (Still French, so forgive me for any mistakes)
> 
> Happy reading!

 

  ** _December 2014 – Boston’s FBI office_**

****

“Do you want to know what I think?” The man asked.

Felicity didn’t look up from the glass she was staring at. They had put it in front of her at the beginning of the interrogation, in case she got thirsty. She wasn’t. And they had been here for a while now.

She had barely said a word.

She had nothing to say.

“I think someone as smart as you just don’t make that kind of mistakes Ms. Smoak.”

She had defensively crossed her arms over her chest a while ago but his words made her dug her nails into her skin.

“I don’t think this was a mistake Ms. Smoak,” the man went on. “I think you did this on purpose because you wanted to be caught. I think you’re a good person who got involved with the wrong people.”

She didn’t say anything. She knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to convince her he knew her, trying to earn her trust. But he wouldn’t because he knew nothing and had no idea who he was messing with.

“You’re a good person Ms. Smoak and you knew what Mr. Seldon and his associates were doing was wrong. I think you wanted to stop it, except you didn’t know how or maybe you were just too afraid and at some point you realized you didn’t have to stop him, you just had to make sure he got caught. So you deliberately made a mistake that got you and every member of Brother Eye arrested.”

Again Felicity said nothing.

She didn’t move, didn’t blink.

She barely breathed.

Agent Barrett didn’t let that deter him. “I’ve got your medical record with me,” he said. “On the night of October the 14th, 2014, your boyfriend Cooper Seldon brought you to the hospital. You had three broken ribs, a broken nose and a sprained wrist.”

_A dark rainy night._

_An argument._

_A hit._

_A fall._

_Another hit. A kick._

_A punch._

_A flash of red._

_A whimper._

“I fell in the stairs,” she said quietly.

“What about that black eye? Another result of your fall in the stairs?”

“I’m a clumsy person,” she replied, looking up to meet his eyes.

“I’ve got another theory. I think he found out what you did and he got angry and then…” He pointed at her face.

_“What the hell did you do?”_

_“You bitch you’re gonna get us all caught! Is that what you want? I bet it is! I’ll fucking kill you.”_

Felicity clenched her jaw so hard she thought she was going to break it.

“I think we got here before he could do worse.”

“I think you think a lot Agent Barrett.”

“That’s part of my job,” he replied.

He leaned in his chair and didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Felicity remained silent, the pain in her face a sharp reminder of what would happen to her if she said anything. “For how long has he been abusing you?”

She didn’t say anything.

“Look Felicity,” she noticed that he hadn’t called her “Ms. Smoak”, “I don’t think you deserve to be punished and put in jail. You need help, and I can provide you that but you have to give me something in return. You have to talk to me.”

She heard his words. She didn’t consider them for a second, but she heard them.

“You want to strike a deal,” she finally said. “Them for my freedom.”

“If you give us Brother Eye, I’ll make sure nothing happens to you. Nothing else,” he added quickly.

She shook her head, fear gnawing at her. “If I talk, he’ll kill me.”

_“I’ll fucking kill you.”_

Dread filled her stomach.

It hadn’t been an empty threat.

“He can’t kill you if he’s serving a life-sentence in jail.”

She snorted. “If you think Cooper is going to spend his life in prison then you don’t know him at all.”

“You’re right I don’t know him. But you do. You can help me, help us bring him to justice and make sure he doesn’t escape it.” He paused for a second. “I know you’re scared Felicity, and I’m guessing you’ve been scared for a while now but you can put an end to all of this. If you talk to me, you can walk out of here a free woman. Free of any charges and free of him. You could start over.”

His words made her pause.

Could she…? Was it…?

She thought about it. She’d have to build herself a whole new life, forge herself a brand new identity. And then she’d need to make Felicity Smoak disappear, bury her so deep nobody would ever find her.

But she could do it. She had the skills.

Agent Barrett was wrong about a lot of things.

He couldn’t protect her and she would never be free.

But he was right about one thing. She _could_ start over.

She looked up to meet his eyes.

“What do you want to know exactly?”

 

* * *

 

 

**_June 2015 – A motel room, somewhere near a city with an airport_ **

****

Felicity let out a deep breath and locked her tablet. Rubbing her eyes, she looked around the cheap motel room she was renting. She had just spent her last night on that crappy bed with those itching sheets.

Today she was leaving.

Today was the first day of her new life.

She sighed again, her stomach clenching at the thought of what she was about to do. Her legs felt weak even as she lied in bed. Her palms were wet, her hair damp with sweat. For a brief moment, she wondered if her father had felt the same way when he had abandoned her and her mother, when he had walked away from his life and everything to never come back.

She couldn’t believe she was about to do the same thing he had so many years ago. But then again, when she really thought about it, it wasn’t that surprising. She had ended up being more like him than her mother, given that she was a criminal too. And it didn’t matter what Agent Barrett said, didn’t matter how hard he tried to make her accept she was a victim. _She wasn’t_. She had done terrible things and she was a criminal. Like father, like daughter.

It was a fact, a truth, she’d take with her in her new life. A weight she’d bear on her shoulders forever.

She was aware of what she was, she knew she didn’t deserve anything good. She knew she didn’t deserve a chance to redeem herself. She was beyond repair. Still, she wanted a second chance. She wanted it more than she had ever wanted anything before. She wanted it so bad it made her whole body ache.

And it was so close to her now, she could almost touch it. She could feel the warm promises of a new life on her heart. If she reached out, she could grab it.

But first, she needed to get rid of the past.

She needed to get rid of herself.

And she would do it without looking back. She would walk out of her life and wouldn’t look back.

Today.

The thought made nervous butterflies flutter in her stomach. Her head started spinning. These moments were the last she was spending as Felicity Smoak. The moment she walked out of that motel room, Felicity Smoak would die and Sophia Layton would take her place.

Her heart clenching painfully in her chest, she gathered her brand new passport, driving license and other documents and put them in her handbag. She glanced at the time on her phone.

7:03am.

She had to get ready if she didn’t want to miss her flight.

She moved to the bathroom and took a quick shower. She got dressed afterward and put on some make-up. She stared at her reflection in the mirror for a minute, still not quite used to the woman who was staring back at her.

She had her eyes, her face, even her voice but she wasn’t her. She was Sophia Layton, a pretty young woman with curly blonde hair, who wore square glasses and colorful clothes, as opposed to Felicity’s raven hair, contact lenses, dark cargo pants and leather jackets.

Sophia Layton wasn’t Felicity Smoak. She was… Someone else. Someone Felicity needed to be if she wanted to have another chance at life. And she had promised herself, this time, she would be good, she would be better. This time she would be strong.

She had given herself that second chance she had wanted so badly and even if she didn’t deserve it, she would still take it and then hold on to it with everything she had.

 

**_Starling City’s airport_ **

****

A young woman was waiting for Felicity at the airport. She had curly brown hair and kind eyes, and she was wearing skinny jeans with a cute top that said “Mermaid for Life”.

That made Felicity smile.

She recognized the woman from their Skype calls and walked to her. “Caitlin Snow?” She asked.

The woman’s eyes brightened. “Sophia! Hi!” She was engulfing her in a warm embrace before Felicity could say anything. She was surprised at first but told herself to relax. They pulled away after a few seconds.

“It’s good to finally meet you,” Caitlin told her, still smiling.

“It really is,” Felicity agreed.

They started to move to retrieve Felicity’s suitcase. She had found a job as a barista in Starling City but couldn’t afford to rent an apartment on her own. Caitlin, who had just finished med school, had been looking for a roommate. They had gotten along pretty well and here they were a couple of weeks later.

“Thanks again for picking me up,” Felicity said. “You really didn’t have to.”

“It’s no trouble at all Soph – is it okay if I call you Soph?”

“I guess – can I call you Cait?”

Caitlin’s smile grew. “Something tells me we’re going to be great friends Soph.”

Felicity smiled shyly.

Her new life was starting better than she could have ever imagined.

After they got Felicity’s suitcase back, they walked to Caitlin’s car. They had fallen into an easy conversation with Caitlin being twenty-four, barely two years older than Felicity.

“So aren’t you a bit young to begin a residency in surgery?”

“I graduated high-school when I was sixteen,” she explained.

Felicity refrained herself from telling her that she too had graduated high-school at sixteen.

“I attended college and med school in Central City but moved here because Starling General has one of the best teaching programs in the country for surgeons.”

“That’s great! But aren’t you going to miss your family?”

Caitlin’s hands tightened around the wheel and just like that, Felicity knew she had hit a sensitive cord.

“I’m sorry, this is none of my business.”

“No it’s alright! My mother and I aren’t close and I can stay in touch with my friends.”

Felicity nodded.

“But what about you? What brings you to Starling City?” Caitlin asked, clearly eager to change the subject.

“A need to get a change of air?”

Caitlin chuckled. “Let me guess… Overbearing parents?”

Felicity shook her head. “Mom died a couple years ago and dad’s never been in the picture.”

“Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to stir bad memories.”

Felicity waved her apology off. “We’re even now.”

Caitlin smiled. “That still doesn’t tell me what brings you here… A bad breakup perhaps?”

_“I’ll fucking kill you.”_

Felicity’s hands tightened around the handle of her bag as dread filled her stomach.

“You could say that…”

She forced herself to breathe.

Safe. She was safe here.

Cooper was in prison and he couldn’t reach her. Even if he got out, he had no way of tracking her down. She had erased her traces carefully and even if he was good, she was still better than him.

She was safe here, protected by her new identity, her new looks, her new everything.

“I feel you girl, I’ve just gotten out of a relationship myself,” Caitlin said. “Maybe we can talk about our love lives, or complete lack of really, around a glass of wine and some ice-cream!”

Felicity chuckled. “Caitlin Snow you’re a woman after my own heart!”

They smiled at each other.

“When are you starting at _Jitters_?” Caitlin asked.

“Tomorrow,” Felicity told her.

“So soon! And what are your plans for the future?”

Felicity shrugged. “I don’t really now. I thought maybe I could take some classes at Starling’s community college, see where that gets me.”

It would probably be boring as hell for her considering she had two master degrees from MIT and that she was a genius – that wasn’t her being vain, it was the truth – so yeah chances that it would bore her were extremely high. But it would also be a way for her to get a degree that could possibly allow her not to remain a barista for the rest of her life. Not that there was anything wrong with being a barista, her own mother had been a cocktail waitress for most of her life and had been the bravest and strongest woman she had known. But it wasn’t who Felicity was – and yes she was aware that she couldn’t be who she was anymore because hello new identity but that wasn’t the point. And even if she had loved her mother deeply, she didn’t want to live the same life she had. She had already lived the life of one of her parents and it hadn’t ended up that well for her. This time, she was living for herself.

Still, thoughts of her mother, flooded her mind. She had passed away during her senior year of college and although their differences had strained their relationship, they had loved each other like a mother and a daughter loved each other.

Felicity wondered if her life would have gotten to that point if Donna Smoak hadn’t died.

Probably not.

Donna Smoak had been a force to be reckoned with. If she had sensed her daughter slipping toward the Dark Side, she would have brought her back immediately.

That drew a small smile on her face. One that faded away quickly.

She wondered what her mother was thinking of her, wherever she was.

Was she disappointed in her? Did she hate her for what she had done? And for what she was doing now? Denying the name she had given her, turning her back on her life, lying about who she was…

A lump of emotions formed in her throat and she was glad she was wearing sunglasses that could hide her tears.

Sighing, she leaned her forehead against the car’s window and stared out at the city.

The past was in the past, what had been done, had been done. Starling City, her blooming friendship with Caitlin, her job at _Jitters_ , this was her future. This was her second chance at life, her chance to finally do things right and she’d be damned if she blew it.

 

* * *

 

 

**_July 2015 – Starling City’s Jitters_ **

****

Felicity knew there were days where one should just stay in bed.

Today was one of those days.

First she had slept through her clock, then she had spilled orange juice on her clothes meaning she had been even later at work. And once there she had mixed up a few orders meaning her boss hadn’t been too happy with her and that just sucked.

Everything about that day sucked anyway, she couldn’t wait for it to be over – and it would be in five short minutes.

“Sophia!” One of her co-workers called.

She snapped her head in Kelly’s direction immediately. It had taken her a while to get used to be called Sophia but now after a few weeks, she reacted as if someone had called her Felicity.

“Can you bring this to table 16 before you leave?”

She nodded, her ponytail bouncing on her shoulders.

“Sure,” she said, grabbing a cup of coffee.

Five more minutes and she could leave, go home and crawl into bed.

Table 16 was in the back of the coffee shop. The man sitting there was wearing a baseball cap and it seemed like he was trying to go unnoticed, and Felicity told herself it was weird.

_If you don’t want to be seen, you don’t go to a very public place._

Lost in her thoughts, she tripped on her way to the man and spilled his latte on him. He jumped back in surprise, hissing. He looked up and she was startled for a second. He had the bluest, most piercing eyes she had ever seen.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” She said, her eyes widening.

She grabbed a handful of napkins and put them on the stain on his shirt. She patted his chest trying to absorb as much coffee as possible. She kept apologizing as she did.

“I’m so sorry! This is not my day, I’m really sorry this happened! I swear I’m not usually that clumsy!”

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” he covered her hands with his to halt her movements. “I’ve got it,” he said.

She looked up to meet his eyes, blushing furiously.

“Oh my god,” she said, taking her hands off him and stepping back. “I’m so sorry, I swear I usually don’t feel up customers. Not that I was feeling you up because I totally wasn’t, I was just trying to fix this,” she pointed at his chest and the huge stain of coffee on his chest. Her brain then caught up with what she had said. Her eyes widened even more and more heat flared beneath the skin of her cheeks. “And I’m not saying that you’re not worth being felt up because hello look at you, you look like a god, not the Buddha kind of god, the Apollo kind of god and please don’t sue me for sexual harassment. I wasn’t harassing you, either sexually or physically. And I’m gonna shut up in three, two, one.”

She stopped talking.

The man tilted his head, a smile blooming on his face. “Hi, I’m Oliver,” he said, extending a hand toward her.

“Sophia,” she replied, feeling shy under the scrutiny of his eyes.

He wasn’t just looking at her, he was staring at her, as if he could read her perfectly and that made her feel uncomfortable. She hesitantly shook his hand and pulled away quickly. Her skin was on fire where he had touched her.

“Again I’m sorry about all this! I’ll go get you a new coffee and of course, I’ll pay for the laundry service.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he told her. “It’s just a shirt.”

“A very nice shirt,” she said before screwing her eyes shut. “Not that I’ve noticed. Because I haven’t. Noticed your shirt. Or you for that matter.”

When she dared open her eyes again, she could see that he was really smiling now and it made her stomach flutter.

She shut the feeling down almost immediately.

_Focus Smoak. Layton. Whatever._

“I’ll go get your new coffee,” she gestured in the direction of the counter.

“Make it to go,” he said, getting up and making his way to the bathroom.

She nodded and walked away. When he came to retrieve his coffee, he was making sure to keep his head down. She didn’t think too much of it. If she had a face as pretty as his own, she’d probably hide it too, to avoid people’s stares. Not that he had a pretty face. No. He had a very handsome and very mainly face. His sandy hair was short, but not too short that you couldn’t run your fingers through them – not that she had thought about it because she hadn’t – his jawline was perfect and could probably cut glass and his cheeks were covered with a light stubble.

“Sophia?”

His voice snapped her back to reality.

“My coffee?” He asked.

“Oh sorry!” She handed him the cardboard cup she was holding. “There you go.”

“Thanks!” He was about to leave when he added. “It was nice to meet you.”

She snorted. “Liar.”

That made him smile again.

And she had to bite back a smile because he had the cutest dimple when he smiled.

As if he needed to look more handsome – and he really _didn’t_.

 

**_Felicity’s bedroom, Starling City_ **

 

Felicity collapsed on her bed right after she got home, exhaustion pulling at her limbs.

The apartment was quiet. Caitlin was out at the grocery store. She had left her a note on the fridge along with some leftovers she could eat. Felicity had smiled at that, because it had been such a domestic thing to do.

She had thought she’d have a hard adjusting to so many changes in her life but surprisingly she hadn’t. She and Caitlin, they had really clicked and their instant connection had made it easy for them to live together. They were so similar, Felicity already considered her more like a friend than a roommate and she knew Caitlin did too.

It hurt her that their relationship was based on a lie. She laid awake in bed at night thinking about it for hours sometimes but there was nothing she could do to change that. And even if she could, she wouldn’t. Being Sophia Layton had not only given her wings, it had also given her the opportunity _to spread them_. For the first time since she had met Cooper during her senior year of college, she was free, free to enjoy everything life had to offer and if lying to everyone around her was the price to pay for that freedom then she was ready to pay it until death came and claimed her soul. She’d probably burn in hell for it, but hey, it wasn’t like she was going anywhere else anyway, not after what she’d done.

 

**_Felicity and Caitlin’s apartment, Starling City_ **

 

Later that night, Felicity and Caitlin found themselves facing a dilemma.

“Please, please, _please_ , Sophia, say yes!”

“I’m not sure Cait,” Felicity sighed, from where she was sitting on the couch. “I’m kinda tired, I had a long day.”

“Oh come on Soph! You’re young and full of energy! Please, it’ll be fun!”

“Oh I don’t know Cait…”

For a second Felicity thought her roommate was going to stomp her feet. She didn’t. Instead she started pouting, in that cute way of hers that had most certainly gotten her the attention of many guys in the past. “Please Soph… Once my residency starts, I won’t have a minute for myself! These are my last moments of freedom.”

Felicity chuckled. “You make it sound like you’re going to jail.”

“It feels like it,” she said.

Felicity snorted.

She had been in prison.

She’d take a residency with Satan himself over it every day.

But of course she didn’t tell Caitlin that. Instead she sighed.

“I don’t have anything in my closet that is nightclub appropriate!”

Caitlin grinned. “You can borrow something from my closet.” She grabbed her hands. “Please say yes! You’ve been here for weeks now and you haven’t gone out, not even once. And before you say anything, going to work, to the grocery store or to the library doesn’t count!”

Felicity closed her mouth because she had been about to say just that.

“It’s time for you to get back in the game Soph!”

Felicity hesitated. She had never been much of a partier. She had gone to a frat party once and she had discovered about her nut allergy there. Needless to say that after a trip to the hospital, she had deemed the night one of the worst of her life.

But then wasn’t trying out new things the whole point of starting over? Hadn’t she gone through all she had gone through for that, for the chance to do all the things she’d never done?

“Okay,” she eventually caved. “Let’s go out!”

“Yes!” Caitlin yelled, punctuating her little squeal of delight with the most adorable fist in the air. “We’re going to have so much fun, I promise!”

Felicity couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. She knew, just by the look on her friend’s face, that she had made the right decision.

The rest of the night would later prove that it had actually been the best decision of her entire life.

 

**_Verdant, Starling City_ **

****

A few hours later, Felicity found herself in Starling City’s newest nightclub, _Verdant_. According to Caitlin, and _Starling Magazine_ , which was her friend’s reference for pretty much everything “Let’s try that new restaurant, I read a great article about it” or “No don’t go there, _Starling Magazine_ says it sucks”, it was _the_ place to be. And for once, Felicity agreed with _Starling_ _Magazine._

 _Verdant_ was _cool_.

The DJ was good, the cocktails phenomenal and the crowd was great.

Felicity didn’t regret coming at all.

She had borrowed a short black dress with elegant straps and cut-outs from Caitlin and paired it with strappy black heels that made her legs seem longer than they actually were. Her friend had opted for a navy blue romper open in the back that did wonderful things to her body and the man she was currently dancing with seemed to agree. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her from the moment they had walked in and now he didn’t seem to be able to take his hands off her hips, to Caitlin’s greatest pleasure. The girl really wanted to have some fun and the man was _hot_. He kind of looked like the guy Felicity had spilled a coffee on earlier that day with his sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

And just like that, Felicity started blushing again, embarrassed and annoyed with herself at the same time.

She had made such a fool of herself.

She didn’t know what had happened, how she had lost control of her mouth like that. It had never happened to her before. Sure, her timing or formulation could have been better sometimes but she had never vomited words like that. And of course, it couldn’t have happened in front of an old grandpa who wouldn’t have heard half of her words. No, she had no such luck and it had absolutely needed to happen in front of a hot guy.

She shook her head feeling like slapping herself for her stupidity.

“There you go,” the bartender said winking at her. She was a cute blonde with pretty blue eyes.

Felicity raised her glass at her and then turned around.

She collided with a solid male chest and ended up spilling her drink on both of them.

She looked up and – no. God wouldn’t be that cruel… Except yes. God could be that cruel. Scratch that. God was that cruel.

It was him again, the man from earlier, _Oliver._

He seemed to recognize her too. That sent her brain into overdrive.

And before she could stop it a flow of words was streaming from her mouth.

“Oh my God I’m so sorry! I swear I didn’t follow you here like a crazy stalker and this,” she pointed at them, “is a coincidence! The weirdest and wettest,” she winced when she said the word, “coincidence ever but still a coincidence. I swear I’m usually more careful, you just caught me on a bad, very bad day and your poor clothes are suffering from it. I’m really sorry and I will shut up now and let you yell at me like you must be dying to.”

She stood there, waiting for the blow of his anger.

It never came.

Instead he smiled, a bright honest-to-God smile that made her toes curl in her shoes.

“It’s okay,” he said, his voice low and gentle and perfect.

“No, it’s not, I keep ruining your clothes,” she winced. “In a totally not sexual way.”

He huffed back a laugh. “It’s not ruined,” he told her.

He reached for her hand and placed it on his chest. Her eyes widened and she felt herself blush furiously. His heart was a wild thing beneath her palm but his eyes didn’t betray anything and remained entirely focused on her. She shifted under the weight of his gaze, not used to have someone look at her so intensely.

“See it’s barely wet,” he eventually said.

She nodded, pulling her hand away from his chest. He didn’t let her go far and held on to her fingers.

“You were lucky I ordered a shot,” she said and why was her voice sounding so tight? He was just a guy. A very handsome guy with gorgeous blue eyes who wasn’t letting go of her hand but still just a guy.

“Let me buy you another one,” he told her.

She froze.

_What?_

“What are you drinking?” He asked her.

“Nothing,” she replied. She looked above his shoulder and saw that Caitlin was waving at her. “I’m sorry, my friend’s calling me.” She got her hand back from him, heat flaring beneath her skin . “Hm… Next time you’re at _Jitters_ put your order on my tab, okay? Bye!”

And before he could say anything else or hold her back, she was already walking away. Fast.

“Soph!” Caitlin squealed when she saw her. She was definitely buzzed but didn’t look drunk. “Who were you talking to?”

She shrugged. “Just a guy,” she said dismissively.

_“Let me buy you another one.”_

The sound of his voice in her head made her shiver.

_Focus Smoak._

“Well just a guy looks super hot from here and he’s devouring you with his eyes.”

Felicity went to turn her head but Caitlin stopped her.

“Don’t! Let him think you’re not that interested.”

“I’m not interested,” she dead-panned.

_Liar._

Caitlin rolled her eyes but didn’t insist. “Me and Hot Guy are leaving,” she said.

“Do you even know his name?” Felicity asked, giving her a pointed look.

“I think it’s Ron-something but who cares?”

“Are you sure you want to leave with him?”

Caitlin nodded firmly and her curls bounced on her shoulders. “Oh yes! We’re going back to the apartment, just so you know.”

“Thanks for the warning!”

“You’re welcome!” Hot Guy aka Ron-something came back with her jacket. “Now go talk to your guy!”

“He’s not my guy!”

“Not yet!”

Caitlin winked at her before disappearing, giggling at something Hot Guy had whispered in her ear.

Felicity went to retrieve her jacket and walked out of the nightclub. She needed fresh air.

Or that was what she told herself anyway.

She found a bench to sit on and looked around her in worry. The club was located in the Glades, the part of town with the highest criminal rate. Some billionaire’s son had opened it to revitalize it. It wasn’t what Felicity would have thought of doing first if someone had asked her to revitalize the neighborhood but she couldn’t deny that it had worked.

The club was _popular_ and as a result the Glades were buzzing with life.

Felicity buried her hands in the pocket of her leather jacket, one piece from the past she hadn’t been able to get rid of.

_“I’ll fucking kill you.”_

It wasn’t cold but she shivered anyway.

She hadn’t been able to get rid of him either.

He had followed her here, haunted her both in her dreams and when she was awake. No amount of hair dye, no new glasses, no fake IDs could protect her from _him._

The voice in her head.

The ghost in her soul.

He was lurking in the shadows of her mind, always waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

Like now.

Her eyes fluttered close as her memories broke her defenses and took over her senses…

“Are you alright?”

A deep masculine voice snapped her right back into reality.

She looked up and saw _him._

Oliver.

Saying her heart didn’t skip a beat at the sight of him would be a lie but it wasn’t as if one more lie would make such difference in her case. “Yes, yes, I am, thank you. Though I should be the one asking you this.”

He tilted his head in question. “You were assaulted twice today,” she reminded him.

He snorted. “Can I sit?” He pointed at a spot next to her.

“It’s a free country,” she said, moving to make some room for him.

“What are you doing out here alone?”

She shrugged. “Rethinking my life choices?”

“I think you need to be drunker for that,” he said.

That made her smile. “My friend is having wild monkey sex with her Hot Guy so I’m giving them some time to get it out of their system before I go back to our apartment.”

“It seems that you’ve been sexiled!”

She snorted. “Sexiled? Really?”

He shrugged. “Not my word.”

“I kinda like it.”

“It does have a nice ring to it.”

They looked at each other. Then smiled. Warmth didn’t spread inside her body.

Nope, nothing.

“It’s still doesn’t tell me what you’re doing here,” he insisted. “Not interested in having “wild monkey sex”?”

She groaned when he used her words. “I’m not that easy,” she let out before her eyes widened. “Damn it, I’m not saying my friend is easy, because she isn’t! Having a one-night stand is totally fine, it’s just not my style. Well that’s not entirely true. I guess I’m not totally opposed to the idea and should the circumstances allow it, I’d be more than happy to indulge in some wild monkey sex with a hot stranger but tonight is not the night. Oh my god I can’t believe I just said all that. You can leave if you want to, I won’t be mad.” He didn’t move. “At least, can you forget about the past thirty seconds?”

He shook his head. “I don’t plan on forgetting anything you say, ever.”

Her heart didn’t jump in her chest at his words.

Nope, totally didn’t.

“Hey you know what?” He suddenly asked her.

“What?”

“I know a place that’s opened 24/7. We could spend your sexile there.”

She frowned, not sure she was reading him right. “You’re not talking about your apartment, right?”

He laughed and it didn’t make her stomach clench.

Nope. Nada.

“I have better lines than this.” He almost sounded offended, his voice a little growly.

She didn’t like it. At all.

“Okay, but you’re not asking me out either, right?”

He shook his head. “I’m just suggesting a warmer and nicer place to spend your sexile, that’s it. If we go, you’re buying. You owe me that much after you ruined two of my shirts.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “I don’t even know your name! For all I know you could be an ax murderer, waiting for me to say yes so that you can take me to some dark and dirty place to chop me off in tiny little pieces.”

He barked a laugh. “Damn how did you know it was my plan?”

“Just a hunch,” she replied.

He tilted his head, his gaze going from playful to more serious. He got up from the bench. Felicity watched him, confused.

“My name is Oliver Jonas,” he told her, holding his hand out for her.

She eyed it, her brain and her heart fighting.

Don’t take it.

_Take it._

Don’t do it.

 _Do it_.

“I’m Sophia Layton,” she introduced herself.

The lie fell so effortlessly from her lips, it should have worried her.

It didn’t because she couldn’t think about anything else past the blue eyes staring at her.

“Wanna go grab a bite somewhere?”

She placed her hand in his. It was so small compared to his, yet somehow they fit together.

“I’ve been trying to take chances lately,” she said.

 _“I’m taking a chance on you,”_ was what she meant.

And it was crazy, she had no reason to trust this guy and yet she did. There was just something about him…

“I promise not to chop you off in tiny little pieces,” he vowed.

She smiled.

There, she had it.

Oliver Jonas made her _smile_.

She had spent five minutes in his company and her cheeks were already hurting.

A man hadn’t made her smile like this in… Forever.

He tightened his grip on her hand, helping her up. She found herself close to him, close enough for her chest to brush against his with every breath she took.

“Let’s go,” he decided.

“Let’s go,” she repeated.

They left the buzzing sound of the club behind them.

They never stopped holding hands.

 

* * *

 

 

**_August 2015 – Felicity and Caitlin’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

_“What the fuck did you do?”_

_“What I had to do!”_

_“No Coop, that’s not what we agreed on! What were you thinking?”_

_“Since when are you such a chicken?”_

_“Since you’re playing with our lives! The Feds are on us now!”_

_“They won’t find us. And they’re going to learn to fear us, to fear Brother Eye.”_

_“You’re crazy! I want out. And I want all the copies of the virus you stole from me.”_

_“You’re not going anywhere!”_

_“Like hell I’m not…”_

Felicity woke up with a gasp before he could slap her.

Her heart pounding in her chest, she took in her surroundings. Her laptop on her desk, her clothes where she had left them on the back of her chair the previous night, her slippers half-hidden under her bed…

Safe, she was safe.

She inhaled deeply, trying to get her breathing back under control.

It had been just a dream, a memory. Cooper wasn’t here, she was safe.

_Safe._

She sat in bed and thrust her face in her hands.

Her life had gone wrong the moment Cooper had turned their “innocent” hacking into something far more dangerous. She hadn’t known when she had met him. She hadn’t known he was a megalomaniac who had delusions of grandeur and a thirst for revenge. Revenge against life, revenge against the system. He had done terrible things as the leader of Brother Eye. And she had been the one to give him the weapon to start his cyber war. And when she had realized what he had done, that he had stolen her virus, it had been too late.

He had slapped her for the first time that night.

She had been so shocked. And hurt. And humiliated. And furious.

So many feelings.

He had never hit her again after that day. And she had made sure not to anger him again.

Until that night…

_“I’m out.”_

_“No you’re not!”_

_“Yes, I am!”_

_“You can’t leave! I still have your supervirus!”_

_“I don’t care! Do whatever you want, I don’t give a damn!”_

_“Felicity…”_

_“Let go of me! Cooper, let go of my arm, stop, you’re hurting me!”_

A knock on her door snapped her out of her memories.

“Sophia are you awake? I made us some coffee!”

“Coming!” She yelled through the door.

Sighing, Felicity blindly reached for a cardigan. She didn’t want to catch a cold and she would if she let the cool air of the apartment caress her damp skin.

She walked out of her room and her heart jump in her chest at the delicious smell of freshly brewed coffee.

“Cait, you’re a God-sent present,” she told her after filling her lungs with the strong and heavenly smell.

Caitlin chuckled. “I know you need your coffee to function.”

Felicity hummed in acknowledgment while sipping on her coffee. Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Caitlin’s eyes widened. “Oh is it him?”

Ignoring her, she pulled her phone out.

**Saturday (1rst August 2015)**

**(8:06 a.m.)**

**Oliver: What are you doing today?**

“Oh my god, it _is_ him!”

Felicity frowned. “This is not an admission to anything but… How do you know?”

“You’re wearing that goofy smile you only wear when you’re talking to him,” her friend explained.

Felicity started blushing. “I don’t have a goofy smile.”

“Yes you do.”

She rolled her eyes at her before typing a quick reply.

**(8:08 a.m.)**

**Felicity: working**

**& why are u up? it’s Saturday.**

“You still aren’t going to tell me anything about him?” Caitlin asked, staring at her over her cup of coffee.

Felicity shrugged. “There’s not much to tell,” she said evasively.

It wasn’t technically a lie.

After meeting Oliver a few weeks ago, they had started texting on a regular basis and he had come by _Jitters_ a couple times, right before closing time, and they’d had coffee together every time.

She really liked him and it was surprisingly easy to be around him. Sure more often than not her mouth escaped her control and said the weirdest most inappropriate things but he didn’t seem to mind. He made her smile, he made her laugh, they were friends but that was all there was there.

She didn’t know how that made her feel.

**(8:10 a.m.)**

**Oliver: when does your shift end?**

**& I have family stuff**

**(8:11 a.m.)**

**Felicity: 3pm.**

**What kind of family stuff?**

**(8:15 a.m.)**

**Oliver: kay’ pick you up at 5:30, wear pants, a jacket & a swimsuit**

**The boring kind**

**(8:16 a.m.)**

**Felicity: What for?**

**(8:17 a.m.)**

**Oliver: I’m taking you out on a date**

She yelped and dropped her phone.

Caitlin frowned. “What? What’s going on?”

“He asked me out on a date,” Felicity blurted out.

Caitlin didn’t seem too fazed. “Okay, what’s new?”

“He’s taking me out on a date, like a date, date,” Felicity repeated.

“Honey, he won’t take you out on anything if you don’t reply to him,” Caitlin pointed out. “Besides, haven’t you guys been dating since _Verdant_?”

Felicity shook her head “no”.

“Seemed like it.”

“What do I do?” Felicity asked, suddenly feeling small.

“You say yes of course! You like him!”

Felicity sighed. “I just- I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“Stop overthinking things Soph, there’s no need to. He’s your rebound guy, he’s the sweet summer romance you need before you move on to something bigger.”

“What if he’s something bigger?”

Caitlin narrowed her eyes at her. “So you _like_ him.”

Felicity shrugged, flustered. “It’s been what? Three weeks? I don’t _like_ him, I just like being with him.”

“Then be with him and go from there.”

**(8:21 a.m.)**

**Oliver: is that okay?**

Felicity looked up and saw Caitlin smiling encouragingly at her.

**(8:22 a.m.)**

**Felicity: very okay**

She pressed “send”.

 

**_Felicity and Caitlin’s apartment, Starling City_ **

 

Felicity went home straight after her shift at _Jitters_ ended and she immediately started getting ready for her date.

Because yes she was going on a date.

A date with _Oliver_ , the guy she had spilled not one, but two drinks on! How crazy was that?

Now, five minutes before 5:30, she was waiting for him in the living-room. She wore her leather jacket and old jeans, just like he had asked her to. Her body was also bikini ready – not that she was going to wear a bikini, she wasn’t _that_ confident in her skin but still Oliver had asked her to wear a swimsuit so she had needed an emergency waxing and she really hoped the date would be worth the quite literal pain she had endured to get ready for it.

Her nerves were killing her, and Caitlin was trying her best to calm her down, when her phone buzzed in her hand.

**Saturday (1rst August 2015)**

**(5:31 p.m.)**

**Oliver: Can you meet me downstairs?**

“What?” Caitlin immediately asked when she saw her frown. “He’s not bailing out on you, is he? There’s a special place in hell for guys bailing out on girls after they got a bikini wax.”

Felicity smiled. “He’s asking me to meet him downstairs.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “Is he afraid of meeting me?”

“You might scare him away Cait,” Felicity teased her.

“That’s called looking after my friend Soph,” she replied. “Well, go meet your date. I’ll be waiting here, alone with Leonardo DiCaprio and a bottle of wine.”

“You poor thing,” Felicity said, leaning down to drop a kiss on her cheek.

Oliver was waiting for her downstairs.

She gulped when she saw him.

He was casually leaning against a bike, wearing a pair of jeans, a white tee-shirt that did interesting things to his body and a brown leather jacket. The man was built for sex she decided as she took in the hard lines of his body, his perfectly chiseled abs, his solid arms… God how were they real? They were at least twice the size of hers! He was a condensed of sheer masculinity, strong and steady, and heat flared beneath her skin just from looking at him.

For a second, she paused and wondered why a man like him was interested in a girl like her but before she could linger on that thought, he was striding toward her.

“Hey,” he said once he had reached her.

She blinked. “Hi!”

He raised up a hand and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear again. “You look beautiful.”

She shook her head. “What? I’m probably a sweaty mess! I hope you have a good reason for making me wear a jacket and jeans when it’s so hot outside.”

He smiled and pointed at his bike. “Have you ever ridden a bike before?”

“I don’t want to end up looking like a pizza on the road,” she shot back.

He huffed back a laugh. “It’s a good thing that I’m driving then,” he replied wittily. “You can take off your jeans and jacket once we’ve reached our destination.”

“It’s a good thing I thought to wear shorts underneath those then,” she pointed at her pants.

“Very good thing,” he agreed. “Are you sure you’re comfortable with riding a bike though?”

“It’s not like I have another choice, is it?”

“I’d never force you to do anything you don’t want to,” he said. “But, just like I promised not to chop you off in tiny little pieces, I promise I won’t let you end up looking like a pizza on the road. Although, if I may say, I think you’d make a very good pizza.”

“You’re hoping I’ll tie my tongue into knots trying to reply to that one, aren’t you?”

He faked a disappointed look. “You got me!”

They both laughed.

“Sophia Layton,” he asked. His ton was solemn but there was laughter in his eyes. “Will you ride my bike?” He winced. “Damn that sounded way more sexual than I intended. You must be rubbing off on me.”

She smiled, butterflies fluttering in her stomach. “Yes, Oliver Jonas I will ride your bike. And I don’t care how that sounds.”

“Alright then,” he handed her a helmet and helped her secure it on her head. He got on his bike then, put on his own helmet. “Hop on,” he said. “Hold on to me tight and try to follow my body’s moves, okay?”

She nodded then wrapped her arms around him and pressed her chest against his back. He started the engine and she tightened her grip on him. Then, just like that, they were moving.

She kept her eyes closed at first, too afraid to open them. But in the end, her curiosity was stronger and she opened her eyes to see everything passing so quickly it made her head spin.

They were so fast, the sensation was unlike any other. The wind in her hair, the warmth of Oliver against her, the way her thighs bracketed his… It was perfect, just plain perfect. She had never felt like that before.

Free.

As if she and Oliver were the only person left in the world.

As if the world was theirs to take.

It was exhilarating.

Laughter bubbled up in her chest and she spent the rest of the ride grinning like the fool she was.

 

**_A beach somewhere near Starling City_ **

****

Oliver stopped the bike almost an hour later. They had left the city behind them a while ago. It was merely a silhouette now, so far and untouchable.

He got off the bike first then helped her down. Her legs felt weird because of the vibrations of the bike but it would pass, at least that was what Oliver told her. While he chained up his bike, she kicked off her jeans and jacket, revealing the denim shorts and pale pink blouse she was wearing underneath. She thrust her clothes in her bag and when she looked up, she saw that Oliver was done and observing her, those intent eyes of his solely focused on her.

“Let’s go, shall we?” He asked, offering her his arm.

She gladly took it, trusting his lead. They left the bike behind them and stepped on the warm sand of the beach. Felicity inhaled deeply, savoring the salty air of the ocean and the sound of the waves hitting the coast. He led her to a blanket spread on the sand, with a picnic gasket and an ice box.

She met his eyes, confused. “How?”

“My friend Thomas helped set things up,” he told her. “Do you like it?”

She dropped her bag on the floor and sat down on the blanket. It was soft and comfortable.

“I love it. Though I’m wondering, did you purposefully pick the only deserted beach near Starling?”

“Maybe?” He replied, sitting down next to her.

She laughed. “Are you ashamed of me or what?”

He stiffened next to her. “I – I just wanted to be alone with you,” he finally said.

“Hey relax, I’m just kidding!” She told him, patting his back. “I’m happy to be alone with you.”

He seemed to relax under her touch and even offered her a small smile. “Wanna have a quick dip?” He asked her.

She nodded. “Though I should warn you, I don’t know how to swim.”

His eyes widened. “How come?”

_Well I grew up in a desert buddy, and I always stayed away from anything resembling a physical activity anyway. And when I moved to Boston, the occasion to learn never presented itself._

Obviously, she couldn’t tell him that.

But she didn’t want to lie either…

“The occasion to learn never presented itself,” she told him.

“Well, it has now. I’ll teach you,” he offered, getting on his feet.

Before she could blink, he had taken his shirt off.

And all she could do was stare at him in all his half-nakedness glory.

And boy was it glorious…

“Sophia?”

She blinked. “Hm?”

“Are you coming?”

_I just might…_

She choked on her next breath. Coughing, she got up and started to get rid of her clothes. “I’m pretty sure there is a rule in the dating book about _not_ taking your clothes off on the first date,” she said, feeling slightly awkward once she was standing there and only wearing a strapless one-piece white swimsuit she had borrowed from Caitlin’s closet.

Oliver shrugged. “I was never good at following the rules anyway,” he confessed.

She thought about her past.

“Me too,” she admitted.

He laughed. “You? _Please_!”

“What?”

“I bet you never broke a rule in your life.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t judge a book by its cover. I may look like an angel, it doesn’t mean there isn’t a demon hidden inside me.” She sounded far more serious than she had intended. Biting her lip, she opened her mouth to take back what she’d said when he leaned toward her, his lips a few inches from hers.

“Well, I can’t wait to hear all your stories, demon.”

His breath was warm on her skin and she unconsciously parted her lips, her heart suddenly in her throat. He inched closer and she stopped breathing and… Before she knew it, two strong hands were lifting her up in the air.

“Oliver let me go! Let me go!” She demanded as he started walking toward the ocean. “Oliver, please!”

But she was laughing too much for him to take her seriously. He kept walking and only released her after they reached the water.

A swimming lesson and a delicious meal later, Felicity was sitting on the blanket and Oliver was lying on his side next to her, watching her carefully as she redid her braid.

“Need a hand?” He offered her.

She shook her head. “I’m good, see?” She turned her head so that he could see her work.

“I used to do my sister’s hair like that when she was a child,” he told her. She tried to picture a younger Oliver braiding a little girl’s hair. The image made her smile. “My parents used to work a lot,” he went on. “So I watched over Speedy for them.”

“Speedy?” She tilted her head in question.

“I used to chase after her when we were children. She would run around the house, laughing loud enough to wake the dead.  I called her Speedy because she was a fast-runner. The nickname stuck.”

“It’s sweet,” she said, smiling.

He smiled back at her and her heart jumped in her chest. He had the most beautiful smile and she was already an addict. “What about you?” He asked. “Any childhood stories to share?”

“Not that many,” she replied. “I was a quiet kid.” It was clear, from what he had told her that he came from a loving and supportive family. Her family situation, or lack of really, was a way too heavy topic for a first date. She didn’t want to scare him away.

“I thought you were a demon,” he teased her, poking her thigh.

“You’re not going to let that one go, are you?”

He shook his head, an unrepentant look on his face. “But seriously, what about your family?” He insisted. “You haven’t talked about them much.”

Felicity sighed, cursing him and his eyes that seemed to notice everything. She was starting to realize that even if he teased her a lot and they bantered a lot too, he really paid attention to her. And he noticed stuff.

And that scared her a little because that made her want to lower her guard in ways she couldn’t.

“There’s not much to say. I don’t have any siblings, I don’t know my father and my mother…” She pinched her lips together and look away from him, toward the ocean.

“Your mother?”

She blinked, swallowing back the lump that had formed in her throat. “She died a couple years ago.”

He didn’t say anything and she appreciated that. There was nothing to say. She sighed, her shoulders falling limp.

“I’m sorry, I kinda ruined the atmosphere…”  

He shook his head vehemently. “Hey no, none of that. You didn’t ruin anything,” he assured her, his hand landing on her shoulder. It was so big, it engulfed it entirely. Instinctively, she brushed her cheek against the back of his hand. “Do you want a hug? I was told I give the best hugs.” He opened his arms for her and she found that she couldn’t resist him. She erased the distance between them and let him wrap her in his warm embrace. She hesitantly put her arms around his neck as her face found the crook of his neck. He smelt of the sun and of the ocean but there was also something that was uniquely him.

They pulled away after some time and shifted position so that Felicity was sitting between his thighs, her back to his chest. They watched the sunset, their fingers tightly intertwined together.

Felicity couldn’t remember a time where she had felt more at peace than in this moment.

That was when she knew she was in big trouble.

And the worst part?

She didn’t care at all that she was…

 

**_Felicity and Caitlin’s apartment, Starling City_ **

Night had fallen over the city when Oliver drove Felicity back to her apartment. He helped with her helmet and took off his own so that he could take a better look at her. He tenderly put a strand of her hair back behind her ear.

“So,” he started to say.

“So…” She said at the same time.

They both nervously laughed. Tension had been brewing between them ever since they had left the beach.

“Thanks for today,” she said. “I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too,” he confessed. “Would you be inclined to take another swimming lesson with me?”

“Hm…” She pretended to think. “I don’t know about another swimming lesson but I know I’d like to go on another date with you.”

Relief washed over his face. “Okay,” he said.

“Okay,” she repeated.

“I’ll text you then.”

Disappointment filled her veins. “Sure, I’ll be waiting” she replied, nodding.

“Good.”

“Good.”

They looked stupid standing awkwardly like that, nodding and repeating whatever it was the other said.

They looked stupid but in that moment, Felicity didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Goodnight,” Oliver told her.

“Yep, goodnight!”

He went to put his helmet back on and she just stood there, her arms crossed over her chest. He looked up toward her and paused. Placing his helmet between his legs, he hooked a finger in her belt loop to tug her against him. Then one hand cupped her cheek and suddenly his lips were on hers.

The kiss was chaste, just a press of his lips against hers but it lasted long enough to melt Felicity’s brain, to make her heart go wild in her chest and to make her toes curl in her shoes. She fisted the fabric of his tee-shirt, not wanting to let go, not wanting for that perfect moment to stop.

It was their moment.

They eventually pulled away, the need for air too strong.

Felicity’s eyes fluttered open and she saw that Oliver was staring at her with a goofy smile on his face. She knew it mirrored the one she was wearing.

“Goodnight,” was all he said.

“Goodnight,” she repeated, watching him disappear in the darkness of the night.

Her lips kept tingling long after he was gone.

 

* * *

 

 

**_September 2015 – Felicity and Caitlin’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

Caitlin came back from her first day of her residency late at night. Felicity was watching a movie on her laptop when she heard her key turn inside the lock. Taking her headphones off, she put her computer on the coffee-table. Her friend looked exhausted. And bothered. Felicity tried to take a better look at her. Yep, she definitely had that crinkle between her eyebrows she had every time something bugged her or when she was facing a problem she had trouble solving.

She collapsed on the couch next to Felicity. Her friend leaned toward her, concern marring her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Remember my Hot Guy from that night at _Verdant_?”

Felicity frowned. “Ron something?”

“Yep.”

“What?”

“His name is Ronald Raymond and he just began his third year of residency at Starling General.”

Felicity’s eyes widened.

“No!”

Caitlin nodded, looking rather dismayed. “Yes.”

A smile threatened to appear on Felicity’s face. “And does he…?”

“Remember me? Yeah, he does.”

She didn’t try to hold back her smile. When they had gone to _Verdant_ , Caitlin had wanted to have fun. Well, this, Felicity thought, was a lot of fun. “This is amazing!”

Caitlin looked at her as if she had grown a second head. “What? This is _awkward_ as hell, certainly not amazing.”

“Oh yes it is,” Felicity cackled. “Tell me when I can start working on the wedding announcement.”

Caitlin glared at her. “You think you’re so funny!”

“I know I am,” Felicity replied, grinning. “Come on Cait, what were the odds?”

“Yeah what were the odds that you’d spill drinks on the same guy twice in the same day?”

Felicity gave her a look. “I see what you’re trying to do Cait and it’s not working.”

“No but seriously, how’s your boyfriend?”

“Stop trying to change the subject! What are you going to do?”

“Well not him that’s for sure,” her friend replied quickly. Too quickly.

Felicity grinned. “Are you more a winter or summer wedding kind of girl?”

Caitlin bumped her shoulder with hers. “My last name’s Snow, what do you think?”

“Winter wedding it is then.”

They both smiled at each other. Then Caitlin sighed deeply and kicked off her shoes.

“Damn, I’m exhausted.” She settled more comfortably on the couch. “And you didn’t answer my question Soph! How’s your boyfriend?”

Felicity shrugged. “Good, I guess! I’m seeing him tomorrow.”

She was trying to keep a casual tone but truth was, fireworks were exploding in her chest just thinking about Oliver. He was an unexpected part of her new life, something she hadn’t seen coming and something she had thought she’d never be ready for. Now he was quickly becoming the thing she loved most about her new life.

Since their perfect first date over a month ago, they had gone on several other dates and things were perfect between them, things were _easy_. Sure, they were different people, with different personalities, Felicity was a lively and bubbly girl where he was a calmer and more reserved guy but somehow, strangely, they fit together. He always listened to everything she had to say, even the most random and stupidest things, while she treasured everything he said, knowing it was something precious he was giving her.

“When will I get to meet him?”

Felicity sighed. “I don’t know. I think he wants to keep things between us for now,” she said.

She had noticed during the time they had been together that Oliver was a very private person. It didn’t bother her, especially not considering her own situation. But as a result, most of their dates, just like their first date, had been in places rather empty of people. It was as if he wanted to keep their bubble intact and she had yet to find a fault in that plan.

 

**_Felicity and Caitlin’s apartment, Starling City_**

****

Felicity had a hard time remembering how she’d ended up straddling Oliver’s thighs. She thought maybe wine had been involved but it was hard for her to think clearly with his hands caressing the bare skin of her thighs and with him kissing her like that.

She moaned, deep in her throat when he licked his tongue across hers and her skin went aflame.

She gave back as much as she got, kissing him just as eagerly, her hands unable to stay still and touching him everywhere.

They kept kissing and touching and Felicity started rocking her body against his, pleasure flooding her senses… Until suddenly, Oliver’s hands fell on her hips slowing her down. He pulled away from her mouth, his breathing erratic.

“What?” She asked, tilting her head.

“If we don’t stop now, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop,” he admitted.

She chuckled, feeling the evidence of his desire for her against her stomach. “Well, I can’t say I’d be against things going a little further,” she whispered, leaning down for another kiss. He let her kiss him, slow and lazy before pulling away again.

“I – I think we should stop,” he barely managed to say as she kissed down his throat.

The tone of his voice made her pause though. She looked up and met his eyes. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” She asked, running her fingers through his hair.

He leaned into her touch, his eyes fluttering close. When he opened them again, she could see a steely determination shining in them, something she wasn’t used to.

“I know this isn’t the right time to talk about this but… Most of my previous relationships, if you can call them relationships, they were… Hm… Let’s just say there was a lot of sex involved.” Felicity frowned, not really knowing where he was going with this. She didn’t interrupt him though and let him speak. “This, what we have, is different. I know we haven’t been together for that long but I can tell the difference. What’s between us is special and I don’t want to rush into sex because of that. I didn’t care about most of the girls I was involved with but I care about you and I want us to take our time so that when we do have sex, we don’t regret it.”

She didn’t say anything and he didn’t push her. He knew now that sometimes she just needed a moment to process things in her head.

When she did, she beamed at him and kissed him soundly on the lips.

“I care about you too,” she whispered.

A small, hesitant smile, stretched his lips.

“So you’re not mad at me?”

She shook her head. “Not at all.”

 

* * *

 

 

**_October 2015 – Felicity and Caitlin’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

Felicity missed Caitlin and Oliver, the two new constants of her life. It was a feeling she had never thought she’d experience. She had been on her own for so long, she hadn’t thought she’d be able to care for people in that way again. She hadn’t thought she’d be able to open up enough to let them in. But she had.

She had spent the last few years of her life with her heart locked up in a cage. Partly because it had been too dangerous to let it out and partly because she had thought she had lost it anyway. Lost it to Cooper, to the darkness she had let him disseminate inside her life, inside her soul. But now, with Caitlin and Oliver and the other people she had befriended in Starling City, she was finding her heart again and she was uncovering its immense capacity to love. And as she did so, she realized that though she’d always resemble her father the most, her mother had given her the best part of her. She had given her _her_ _heart_.

Felicity was letting herself love and care for the new people in her life. And even if she knew deep inside her she didn’t deserve it, she let them love and care for her in return. Because she had set herself free and she didn’t want to miss out on anything. She wanted to gorge on life, on emotions. She wanted to feel everything _fully_. She wanted to _live_ , finally.

And now she missed them, her friend and her boyfriend, the people she was discovering herself with. The people who were bringing her back to life.

Caitlin was working more and more at the hospital. Felicity had known it would happen but still she missed spending time with her. Whether it was with their quiet nights in or with their crazy nights out that usually resulted in hangovers, Caitlin had ingrained herself in her life so much that Felicity felt lost without her. It was crazy how quickly they had become close and it made Felicity wonder for how long she had been starving for a true, real friendship. She’d had friends before Cooper but none like that. None who really got her.

As for Oliver… He had left Starling City a few days ago for a business trip and she missed him. She was so used to see him regularly, to text with him every day. The distance, the lack of time to talk… She hated it. And she felt slightly pathetic because of that, he was just a guy after all and she didn’t need him to function.

And yet it seemed that she did.

She sighed, turning around in bed, unable to sleep.

Her phone buzzed on her bedside table.

**Friday (23 rd October 2015)**

**(11:14 p.m.)**

**Oliver: You awake?**

Her heart jumped in her chest.

**(11:15 p.m.)**

**Felicity: Yes**

**(11:16 p.m.)**

**Oliver: You alone?**

**(11:17 p.m.)**

**Felicity: Playing scrabble with my lover**

**(11:17 p.m.)**

**Felicity: Jeez what a creepy word**

**(11:21 p.m.)**

**Oliver: knock knock**

Felicity frowned for a second until she heard someone knock on the door of her apartment. Her heart in her throat, she rushed to open it. She squealed in delight when she saw Oliver’s smiling face waiting for her on the other side. She jumped in his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and he must have anticipated the movement because he caught her easily, one of his hands falling beneath her thigh while the other snuck around her back.

He walked them back inside the apartment and pushed the door close while she dropped little kisses everywhere on his face.

“Where’s that lover of yours?” He growled in her ear.

“Left by the window,” she replied.

“You live on the fourth floor,” he reminded her.

“He’s related to Spider-Man,” she shot back.

He burst out laughing. “God I missed you,” he said.

“I missed you too,” she confessed, running her fingers through his hair.

“I got home earlier tonight but I had to eat dinner with my parents,” he explained, nuzzling her neck. “It was awful,” he started kissing down the column of her throat, “being there when all I wanted was to be with you.”

She gasped when he sucked on her pulse point, hard enough to leave a mark. “You’re – you’re here now,” she told him.

“I am,” he agreed, spinning them around so that her back was flat against the door. She sucked in a breath when she saw the look in his eyes. The blue was almost completely gone and he looked _hungry_ for her. She understood the feeling. She had missed him so much during the week he had been gone, it had made her _ache_. Now that he was back, she wanted him to erase the feeling of his absence from her body. Her tongue peeked out between her lips and his eyes zeroed on it. The next second he was kissing her.

Well, devouring her would be more accurate.

He kissed her like he had missed her with every fiber of his being and he pressed her deeper against the door. She kissed him back just as fiercely, just as passionately because she _had_ _missed_ him with every fiber of her being. And she knew, the moment his lips touched hers their kiss wouldn’t stop there. He was stirring something in her, something ravenous and burning hot, it was a fire that couldn’t be contained anymore. He seemed to be on the same page. They had waited long enough.

She unzipped his jacket with shaking hands, and took it off him quickly. Her fingers ran down the hard planes of his chest, savoring the heat coming off him in waves. She went slow because she wanted to commit this moment to memory. She had touched him before but never like that and she wanted to remember how he felt, quaking beneath her, for the rest of her life. She reached the hem of the shirt he was wearing. He let go of her for a second, just the time she needed to rid him of it.

He took both her hoodie and tank top off her right after that and before the action had the time to register with her brain, he had wrapped his lips around one of her pebble nipples. At the same moment, one of his hands moved below the hem of the sweatpants she had worn to bed. She slammed her head back against the door, overwhelmed with sensations. She hissed when his eager fingers found the bundle of nerves atop her sex and outright moaned when they moved further south, teasing her open. She lost track of everything but the feel of him against the most intimate part of her. He took his sweet time discovering what she liked, learning how to play her body and all she could do was enjoy all the delicious feelings he was lavishing on her.

She urged him on, needing more, needing him completely. The strength of her need surprised her, even shocked her a little. She hadn’t known herself capable of such passion. But Oliver didn’t seem to mind it at all. He removed his fingers from her core and took her to her bedroom. He dropped her on her bed and the look on his face told her he was through with delaying things.

She was proved wrong when he somehow found the will to slow them down.

He divested her of her sweatpants and underwear and when she stiffened, feeling embarrassed of being naked for the first time in front of him, he kissed the words “you’re beautiful” on her skin until they felt as if he had branded them on her. Then he proceeded to make her come twice, once with his deft fingers and once with his wicked tongue, loving her and cherishing her so thoroughly she was left a weeping mess, sobbing in pleasure and happiness. They started kissing again after that, two mouths dancing and fitting together so perfectly it felt as if they had been made for each other. Then, she was ready to go again and he couldn’t wait anymore so while she snagged a condom from his wallet, he got rid of the rest of his clothes.

He let her put the condom on him before pushing her on her back again. He caressed her body with his hands, slowly, almost reverently. He licked the sweat off her skin while she bit on her lower lip in a futile attempt at muffling herself. He placed both his hands besides her head, his face barely a breath away from hers. She sucked in a breath when she felt him settle in the cradle of her hips, when she felt him at her entrance. Then he was sliding inside her, inch by inch, and she was so sensitive and he was so thick, everything was just too much, her eyes rolled in their sockets. He gave her some time to adjust, to get used to the burning sensation of being full – it had been a while since she’d been with anyone that way – and when he started moving, it was slow and focused, just like he could be in real life. His face nuzzled her neck as he thrust shallowly inside her and her feet fell in the crook of his knees.

They started kissing again and he started moving a little bit faster, going in a little deeper. Her hands didn’t know where to go, what to do but didn’t want to remain still so she decided to touch him, everywhere she could reach, digging her nails in his skin whenever he hit that spot inside of her that made her see stars.

He tore his mouth away from hers, the need for air burning their lungs. Blue met blue when their eyes crossed and Felicity’s heart, which was already beating wildly in her chest, went a little wilder. His eyes were so expressive, they said so much, she could see everything he felt, everything he had yet to tell her. She hoped he could the same thing in her eyes too, she hoped they were conveying all the things she was feeling too because he deserved to see that he was loved.

He started losing his rhythm, his thrusts became a little jerkier. His hands moved from their spot beside her head and started touching her everywhere, her breast, her arms, her thighs, her sex, everywhere. They fell over the edge together, both with each other’s names on their lips.

“Oliver.”

“Sophia.”

It was only later, far later, and long after Oliver had fallen asleep, his body tightly wrapped around hers, that she let the tears she had been holding roll down her cheeks.

She cried because she loved him and she thought that he might love her back. Except it wasn’t her name he had said. It wasn’t _Felicity_ he had screamed.

And she hadn’t realized it would break her heart until it had.

In the heart of the night, safe in her quiet bedroom, she realized she hadn’t really thought things through and she was in way over her head.

 

* * *

****

**_November 2015 – The grocery store, Starling City_ **

****

_“So what are you plans for Thanksgiving?”_

_“Traditional Thanksgiving dinner at the Jonas’ house.”_

“Soph, are you listening to me?”

Felicity tightened her grip on the cart. “I’m sorry what?”

“Are you okay?” Caitlin asked, concern marring her face.

She nodded. “Sure, I just have stuff going on here!” She pointed at her head. “What were you saying?”

“I know you’ll never let me live that down but… I think maybe I’ll go out on that date with Ronnie.”

He had been asking her out for a few weeks now.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” Felicity told her, pushing the cart in a new alley. “And you’re right. I’m never letting you live that one down.”

They smiled at each other and resumed their shopping. They were buying the last things they needed for their Thanksgiving meal. Since Felicity started her shift at _Jitters_ at 3 p.m. until 8 and Caitlin would pull a night-shift at the hospital, they had agreed on a Thanksgiving lunch. They had gotten up early to get things ready, hence why they were shopping at barely 9:30 in the morning.

Her thoughts drifted back to Oliver, drowning the sound of Caitlin’s voice. Ever since the night where they had first had sex, Felicity had been thinking about their relationship. She cared about him, it was actually a huge understatement but she wasn’t looking forward to opening that particular box, and it hurt her that everything between them was based on a lie. Even if she had known it would happen when she had decided to start over and change her identity, she still hadn’t thought it would be _that_ hard to actually be seen and accepted as another. It was something she needed to work on, something she needed to make peace with because she couldn’t, not now and not ever, betray her secrets. Felicity Smoak needed to remain dead to the world, for her own safety.

She stood by what she had told Agent Barrett all those months ago. Cooper would never spend the rest of his life behind bars, he was far too smart for that. And even if he did, he’d find a way to get to her. Disappearing had been her only choice, her only chance. And she wouldn’t jeopardize it, neither would she jeopardize the safety of the people she cared about, to satisfy her selfish need to be known by her real name. It would take her some time to completely let go of it but she would. There was no other option.

Still it took a toll on her relationship. Her internal conflict troubled her and bothered her and most of the time, she found it hard to completely relax in Oliver’s presence.

“Sophia are you with me?”

“I – uh…”

“What’s going on?” Caitlin asked.

_What’s going on?_

Felicity thought about it.

Her identity problems weren’t the only thing straining their relationship.

Even if she cared about Oliver a lot, she was starting to have doubts about their relationship. Big doubts. At first, she had liked the privacy he had surrounded them with, the safety of their bubble. She didn’t like it so much anymore. Because while they seemed to grow closer emotionally, there still was a part of him he was keeping from her. And she knew she was a hypocrite because there was a big part of her she was keeping from him too but unless he was a former cybercriminal who was trying to hide from his old partner-in-crime, their situations were entirely different.

Sometimes, she felt like he was living two separate lives. The one where he was dating her and his other life, with his family and his job. Thanksgiving was a perfect example of that. He hadn’t even tried to make plans with her, and they had been dating for a while now. She hadn’t expected him to invite her over to eat with his family but he could have at least tried and suggested something. Instead, he hadn’t, he had gone with his tradition and kept her totally separate from that part of his life.

Again.

“How do you know if your boyfriend is cheating on you?” She asked suddenly.

Caitlin’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Even worse, how do you know if your boyfriend’s using you to cheat on his official girlfriend?”

Caitlin dropped what she was holding.

“What brought this on?”

Felicity shook her head. “Nothing, I’m just being stupid.”

Caitlin walked to her, her eyes filled with worry. “I’m sure you’re not. How about we finish here and go talk about this at home?”

Felicity nodded.

 

**_Felicity and Caitlin’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

Half an hour later, the two young women were sitting on the couch in their living-room. Felicity was holding a pillow to her chest while Caitlin sat with her body turned toward her, one leg folded on the couch. They were both holding steaming cups of coffee.

“So… What’s going on?”

Felicity sighed. “I don’t know… I just… I’ve been thinking about my relationship with Oliver a lot lately and I’m starting to realize there’s a lot I don’t know about him. Like what’s his job. He never really explained it to me, just said he was working for his parents. And as for his parents, I don’t know them. I mean, he told me about them but he didn’t tell me their names! I don’t even know his sister’s name! He talks about her all the time but he’s never said her name! Who does that? I only know the name of one of his friends, Thomas! He knows the names of all my friends, of all the people in my life. I feel like… I feel like he doesn’t want to let me in. We’ve been together for a few months now and I expected to at least know his sister’s name by now.”

“But you don’t.”

“Exactly! And maybe it’s my fault, maybe I should have asked but… He’s so careful, so guarded, it took me some time to realize I don’t really know stuff about him. It’s so weird because I feel like I know him, I know the person but I don’t know anything about his life.”

“Then ask him about it.”

Caitlin made it sound so simple. Felicity shook her head. “I’m afraid he won’t answer. He’s so secretive… Now that I think about it we’ve never gone out in public or if we have it was outside the city. It’s like he’s afraid of being seen in public with me. Why? Is he afraid we’ll walk into his girlfriend or something? We’ve never been to his place! For real, we always come here. Why is that?”

“You think he has a girlfriend? And that he’s cheating on her with her?”

Felicity shrugged. “No, I don’t know what I think! I just know he’s not letting me in. He never suggested I met his family or friends. They all live here but I haven’t met a single one of them. I’m not saying I’m ready for the whole “meet the parents” thing but what’s wrong with meeting his best friend? Or his sister? We’ve been dating for months damn it! If it were up to me, you’d have met him already. But every time I tried to suggest he meets you, he’s found a way to brush the topic away.”

Caitlin frowned. “For how long have you been keeping this inside of you?”

“A week? Two? Does it matter?”

“Does he know you have all those doubts? All those questions running through your head?”

She shook her head.

“You have to talk to him about it Sophia.”

“What if I don’t like what he has to say?”

“Then you walk away.” She paused. “I know you care about him but…”

Felicity sighed and rubbed her face with her hand in frustration. “But nothing. You’re right. I can’t be with someone I don’t know.”

The moment the words passed her lips she felt like the worst hypocrite in the entire history of hypocrites.

And there had been plenty.

And she realized that was why she had never pushed Oliver, never tried to know his sister’s name or where he worked, why she had let him keep things separated, why she had let him hold onto his privacy. It was because she had known deep inside she had no right to push him. She never would.

And where did that leave them?

Absolutely nowhere.

**Thursday (26 th November 2015)**

**(10:14 a.m.)**

**Oliver: Happy Thanksgiving Sophia! I’m grateful to have you in my life!**

**(1:21 p.m.)**

**Oliver: You okay?**

**(1:46 p.m.)**

**Oliver: Babe?**

**(2:09 p.m.)**

**Oliver: Pick up the phone please**

**(2:25 p.m.)**

**Oliver: Why aren’t you picking up?**

**(3:01 p.m.)**

**Felicity: Can’t talk**

**(3:04 p.m.)**

**Oliver: What’s going on?**

**(3:06 p.m.)**

**Felicity: Nothing, can’t talk, working**

**(3:08 p.m.)**

**Oliver: take a break**

**(3:09 p.m.)**

**Felicity: Just started**

**(3:13 p.m.)**

**Oliver: Pick up the phone!!**

**(3:24 p.m.)**

**Felicity: Turning my phone off now. Go to your dinner!**

**_Felicity’s bedroom, Starling City_ **

 

When Felicity got home from _Jitters_ , Caitlin had already been gone for a while. She found herself alone with her thoughts, doubts and fears. Felicity didn’t like feeling like a bitch. And yet she felt like one after giving Oliver the cold treatment. It wasn’t his fault if she was so messed up after all.

And there she was, now, alone, in her bed, her conversation with Caitlin and her dark thoughts her only companions. She was trying so hard to find a solution to a problem that, unfortunately for her, didn’t seem to have any.

She eyed her laptop on her desk.

She thought of all the questions she had about Oliver.

The answers were only a few keystrokes away.

She shook her head.

Playing dangerous games with computers was what had put her in this delicate situation in the first place. She had learnt her lesson. No more. Besides, Oliver deserved the chance to explain himself. She would not take it away from him. She knew all too well how it felt when your right to choose and do things your way were taken from you and she wouldn’t do that to anyone.

She sighed and looked through the window. Night had fallen over the city and a light rain had been hitting the pavement for a while now.

Kicking her plaid away from her, she got out of bed, deciding that although a hot shower wouldn’t solve her problems, it would at least release some of the knots in her muscles.

She was on her way to the bathroom when she heard a knock on the door. Frowning, because who was visiting at this time of the day, she went to check the peephole. Her heart jumped in her throat. She banged her head against the door, literally, before opening it.

“Can I come in?” Oliver asked.

“Did you cut your traditional family dinner short just because I didn’t reply to your text?”

“You ignored me, all day long. That’s not like you.”

_You don’t know me._

Obviously the bitchy attitude hadn’t gone that far but Felicity managed to rein it in.

She stepped aside to let him in.

“Why’s your phone still off? I was worried.”

“Jeez Oliver, I was working.” She shook her head. “And who do you think you are? A cop?”

Okay perhaps the bitchy attitude was a bit stronger than she’d initially thought but then it was normal when he was acting like an ass. He had no right to barge in and demand things from her when he was the one hiding things from her. And yes, she knew she was hiding things from him too but nothing from the life she lived with him. He knew everything there was to know about her _now_ and now was the only thing that mattered.

He rolled his eyes at her. “I’m your boyfriend. Your concerned boyfriend.”

She paused for a second and for the first time since he had arrived, she just took him in. He was wearing a suit, without a tie but a suit nonetheless. She had never seen him in a suit before and she probably would have enjoyed the view if she hadn’t been distracted by the look on his face. It was not the look of a concerned boyfriend. It was the look of someone who was worried, close to panicked. His breathing was a bit fast, as if he had rushed to come here. His eyes were wide open and a bit wild, his pupils dilated. This was definitely not the look of a concerned boyfriend. It was the look of someone who was afraid.

“What’s going on?” She asked him point blank, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you this?” Even his voice sounded weird, a bit tight, as if he was forcing himself to sound casual, as if he was trying to hide something.

Something was wrong.

Something was very wrong.

“I asked first.”

“Technically I did,” he pointed out. “And anyway, you’re the one who’s been cold and distant today Sophia so you’re the one who has some explaining to do.”

“You’re the one who’s hiding something from me and making it all about me so that you won’t have to talk about it.”

“So you know?” He looked resigned.

“Know what?” She shot back.

“You don’t know?” He asked tentatively, looking confused.

“Don’t know what!?” She exploded.

He took a step back, surprised by her outburst. She wasn’t surprised. Her questions had been simmering beneath the surface for a while now and her doubts had been gnawing at her for just as long. And then she had been so angry and so frustrated all day…

Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed through his nose, the tension inhabiting him not lost on her. She had never seen him like that before.

“Maybe we should sit down.”

“I’m perfectly fine standing,” Felicity replied stubbornly.

“Damn it Sophia please! Can we sit?”

She stiffened. _His_ outburst had surprised her.

He raised up a hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he ran a hand through his hair. “I just – I don’t know how to tell you this.”

She froze.

What if she had been right? What if he was cheating on her? Or worse, what if he had used her _to cheat on someone_? She didn’t care if he hurt her, she could handle the pain. But what she couldn’t handle was being used. She couldn’t be used to hurt someone again, that would break her.

“Tell me what,” she asked, nervously tugging on the sleeves of her gray hoodie.

“I – I haven’t told you the whole truth about me.”

She blinked.

“Explain yourself.” Her legs were shaking and she regretted not accepting to sit down but it was too late to change her mind now. She would not show any signs of weakness, not when he was about to break her heart. She would stay strong and walk out of this conversation with her pride intact.

“I –“ He ran a hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. “My name isn’t Oliver Jonas.”

She sucked in a breath.

_What?_

“My name is Oliver Jonas Queen. I’m the son of Robert and Moira Queen, CEO of Queen Consolidated.”

_??_

_What???_

_What????_

_WHAT?????_

She took a step back. “You’re – you’re…” She couldn’t even say it, her mind had just been fried.

“Oliver Queen,” he supplied, “yes.”

“Oliver Queen,” she repeated in disbelief.

He nodded slowly, gauging her reaction. Or lack of really. Her mind had been fried and she needed some time to reboot it. So to speak.

She shook her head.

Oliver Queen.

Oliver _fucking_ Queen.

What a fool, what a complete idiot!

She had been so stupid! She had been dating Oliver Queen for months now and she hadn’t known. She had no idea!

Oliver Queen.

Robert and Moira Queen.

Queen Consolidated.

One of the biggest companies of the country. The Queen Empire was an actual thing, not just a terrible pun.

And Oliver was… Oliver was the heir. The heir to a fucking fortune 500 company.

And she hadn’t known!

What an idiot.

What a fucking idiot.

Her legs wobbled. “I need to sit,” she said. Not feeling in control of her body anymore, she walked to one of the chairs around the table and sat down, her movement mechanic like those of a robot. When she looked up, she saw that he was looking at her cautiously, with concern marring his face.

“Do you want me to get you a glass of water?”

“I don’t want anything from you,” she said dryly.

“I,” he started.

“You lied to me!” She cut him off. “You lied about who you are! Why!?” He opened his mouth to reply but she didn’t give him the time. “Was it because you were bored? Was I just a game to you?”

“What? No, no, no,” he hurriedly said. “You were never a game. Quite the opposite actually.”

“Then why? Why lie to me like that? Why keep me in the dark as if I was some dirty secret that you were ashamed of?” Her eyes widened as she realized what she had just said. “Oh my god, are you ashamed of me? Of who I am? Is it why you didn’t say anything? Because I’m not good enough for you?”

“Sophia no, you don’t understand…”

“Then explain it to me!” She yelled, sounding near hysterical.

“I will if you let me talk!”

Felicity bit on her inner cheek, forcing herself to shut up. She told herself she had no right to react that way, especially because she was lying about her identity too. She took a deep breath and tried to think about how she’d want Oliver to react if she ever told him the truth about her – she never would but just in case. She thought about it for a quick second then forced herself to react the same way.

She breathed in and out slowly, forced herself to unclench her fists. Forced herself to calm her down and reign in her feeling of betrayal, her pain and her anger.

When she felt ready, she looked up.

“I didn’t tell you who I am because when we met you didn’t know me.”

A wave of frustration crashed inside her. “Yeah and usually that’s when people say who they are. Something like “ _Hi I’m Sophia Layton_ ” “ _Well hello Sophia, I’m Oliver Queen_ ”.”

“It was complicated,” he tried to explain.

“Doesn’t seem that complicated to me,” she bit back.

He gave her a look. She clamped her mouth shut. “I have a past, a reputation that you might have heard of.”

“I don’t pay attention to gossips,” she reminded him.

“Thank god otherwise you would have found out about me a lot sooner.”

It was her turn to give him a look.

“Sorry, I’m not doing this explaining thing right, am I?” He paused, took a deep breath. “I didn’t tell you the truth because you not knowing about me made it possible for me to be myself, and just myself, around you. People expect things from me because of this image they have of me but you never expected anything but Oliver. You didn’t want Oliver the billionaire, Oliver the businessman or Oliver the playboy. It was always just Oliver for you. You wanted me for me and not my name or my money and I know it was wrong to lie to you but… I needed to be loved for who I was, you did and I loved you for that. I love you for that.”

Her heart skipped a beat.

_“I love you for that.”_

Sweat dampened her hands. She wanted to speak but he wasn’t done.

“Before I met you, my life was going a certain direction and it didn’t feel like it was mine anymore. But then I met you. You were so different, so refreshing… I thought at first that you knew who I was and that you were playing some kind of a game with me but when you said you weren’t from here, I started to believe that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t lying, that I wasn’t a game to you. So I asked you out on a date and the time we spent at the beach was among the happiest of my entire life. I didn’t want to let you go after that day and because I’m a selfish person I also wanted to keep you all for myself. I wanted all the light you had to give for me.”

“I’m sorry for hurting you, but I’m not sorry I lied to you because it would mean I’m also sorry for all the moments we spent together and that’s something I’ll never be sorry for. Just like I will never be sorry for falling in love with you.”

She was crying. She could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks, burning her skin as they went. And he had moved as he spoke and he was now kneeling in front of her, his hands tightly wrapped around hers.

“I have no light to give you Oliver.” Not after everything. “I never have and I never will. The light was always there,” she pointed at his heart, “inside of you.”

“Please forgive me,” he said, looking up to meet her eyes, his own an open book for her to read.

She knew what she wanted to say.

_I love you._

But could she?

Could she love him?

Being the girlfriend of the excessively exposed Oliver Queen wasn’t exactly the same as being the girlfriend of Oliver Jonas. She wanted to blend in, not to be noticed.

She should say it was too much. She should say she couldn’t forgive him. She should say she didn’t love him.

More lies wouldn’t make much of a difference would they?

But she couldn’t lie to him. There was a lot she had lied about, a lot she was still lying about but she had never lied about how she felt. And she couldn’t start now. She _wouldn’t_ start now. Not after he had laid out his heart for her. She couldn’t crush the light in his eyes, couldn’t crush his love that was a burning flame shining in his blue eyes for her. Just for her.

“I love you,” she whispered.

 

**_Oliver’s loft, Starling City_ **

****

Oliver opened the door to his loft right after her first knock.

“Where you waiting behind the door like a creepy stalker?” She asked him.

“No?” He replied, huffing back a laugh.

“That doesn’t sound really convincing,” she replied, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I was just waiting for you. I’m happy you’re here.”

She tilted her head, smiled. “Then let me in?”

His eyes widened, as if he hadn’t realized she was still standing outside. Quickly, he stepped aside and let her in.

This was the first evening they were spending together since Thanksgiving. It was another first date for them, one Oliver had insisted they spent in his apartment. Now that Felicity knew the truth, he seemed to be eager to let her fully in his world, the same way he had let her in his heart.

He showed her around and Felicity gulped because his loft was like twice the size of the apartment she shared with Caitlin and it had the most gorgeous view of the city ever.

“I can’t believe how amazing this place is,” she said as she stood in front of the by window in the living-room. “And that view,” she sighed in wonder.

“The view is great,” he agreed, but he wasn’t staring at the city. He was staring at her. He finished pouring them wine and walked to her. She took a glass from him. “You look really great tonight,” he told her, “especially in those shoes. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you picked them just to torture me.”

She smiled. “And if I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re trying to seduce me,” she replied teasingly.

“Is it working?” He asked her, leaning slightly toward her.

“Come closer and figure it out,” she dared.

His lips were about to touch hers when the oven dinged. He wrenched himself away from her and went to check on their dinner.

“What are we eating?” She asked, her heart fluttering at the sight of him cooking in his kitchen, for her. He had told her he could cook but it was one thing to know about something and then actually see it. She thought an apron had never looked better than in this moment, hugging his huge and muscular body.

“Chicken cordon blue,” he told her, getting the dish out of the oven. God the smell only was making her head spin.

Soon enough, they were sitting down at the table, on which he had lit a few candles, and Felicity was trying her best to eat her food at a normal speed – she didn’t want him to think he was dating a glutton.

“So,” she started, “where did you learn how to cook?”

“Raisa, she’s our housekeeper, taught me. Whenever I’d come home from a party, and I partied a lot back then, she’d wake my hungover ass up really early in the morning and teach me something. I can cook, clean, do the laundry, she even taught how to sow!”

Felicity chuckled. “My, my, aren’t you the perfect house husband?”

“Still better than you,” he teased her, certainly thinking back to that one time where she’d tried to cook them breakfast.

She rolled her eyes at him. “So you grew up in a house with a housekeeper while I grew up in an apartment that was probably the size of your living-room.”

Something flickered in his eyes. “Does that bother you?”

“What?”

“That we come from different places?”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me, it’s just…” Her voice trailed down. “It’s just something I’ll need to adjust to.”

He stared at her in wonder and she shifted under the weight of his gaze. “You really are something else, aren’t you?” He eventually whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“Most girls would already be asking me about my private jet and here you are telling me you’ll need to “adjust” to the fact I grew up with a housekeeper.”

Her eyes widened. “You have a private jet?”

“Well, it’s the company’s jet technically but we don’t only use it for business trips.”

She blinked. “Of course, of course...” She sighed, rubbing her hands over her face. “I so don’t have what it takes to date a billionaire.”

He chuckled. “That’s what makes you perfect to date one.”

She lowered her hands on her face so that she could look at him. “You sweet talker.”

“You love it.”

“For some strange reasons, yeah I do!”

He smiled smugly, the bastard and she just rolled her eyes at him.

“By the way, I would like you to meet my family.”

Felicity who had been sipping her wine choked on her drink and started coughing. “What?” She asked, her voice strangled.

“Well, there’s this Christmas party at QC that I’d like to invite you to but I want you to meet my parents first. We could do dinner.”

“Party? Dinner?”

“First dinner, then Christmas party,” he told her. “Is next Friday okay with you?”

“You’re – you’re serious about this? You want me to meet your parents?”

“I’m very serious about us. I want to do things right.”

“You mean if I still had a dad, you’d be asking for his permission?”

He frowned. “I guess yes,” he said cautiously.

“Jeez relax Oliver, it’s been a while since my dad left. I’m over it.”

“Doesn’t mean, it doesn’t hurt.”

She chose to ignore him. “Friday’s fine with me.”

He chose to let it go. “Perfect! I’ll pick you up at 7. Dinner at my parents’.”

“Wait… Everything’s already planned?”

He nodded. “I just needed you to say yes.”

“And I did.”

“And you did,” he repeated, smiling at her.

She smiled back because she couldn’t resist him but she wasn’t feeling all that confident. Meeting his family, the Queens of Starling City… That was something, something huge. She didn’t know if she was ready for it. She hadn’t been kidding earlier, she didn’t have what it took to date a billionaire.

She looked in Oliver’s eyes and saw his love and happiness shine for her.

If he believed she could… Then maybe she could.

 

* * *

 

 

**_December 2015 – The Queen Mansion, Starling City_ **

****

Oliver parked his car in front of his parents’ house. Well, in front of his parents’ castle would be more accurate.

Oliver chuckled next to her.

“It’s not a castle, just a mansion.”

“Oh forgive me for making such a mistake, I don’t know what I was thinking, mistaking this _mansion_ for a castle,” she teased.

He rolled his eyes at her before leaning down to peck her cheeks. “Welcome to my childhood home,” he whispered in the shell of her ear.

Felicity smiled, glancing around at the gigantic, and gorgeous, _mansion_. Her mind had no trouble imagining a little Oliver running after a squealing little Speedy.

“Let’s go, shall we?” He suggested.

She nodded, nervous knots tightening in her stomach. She was going to meet Oliver’s family. That was a step forward in their relationship. A huge step forward.

He got out of the car first then walked to her side to open her door. She held onto his hand while she exited, a small smile stretching her lips.

“Such a gentleman,” she said.

“I wouldn’t want my mother to be disappointed in me,” he replied, winking playfully at her.

“So,” she started as they walked toward the door. “What did you tell them about me exactly?”

He tightened his grip on her hand, as if he could feel her nervousness. Then again, it was probably hard to miss the waver of her voice, the dampness of her hands or the paleness of her face.

“Nothing but the truth,” he assured her.

“Yeah but still?”

He sighed, looking at her with a happy light in his eyes. “That we met a few months ago, that you’re amazing, beautiful and kind and that I really care about you.”

She chuckled nervously. “Wow, no pressure then!”

He stopped them right in front of the door. “Hey, you don’t have to feel pressured or anything. My parents will love you.”

She gave him a look. “Try to sound more convincing.”

He tugged on the belt of her coat to bring her closer to him. Her hands flattened on his chest as she looked up to meet his eyes. “I’m a bit nervous too,” he confessed, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

She tilted her head, surprised. Oliver was a very confident man, he didn’t get nervous easily. Only when things really mattered to him, she had realized. And she knew that this, this meeting, really mattered to him. His worlds were about to collide.

“Don’t be nervous, your parents will love me,” she told him, patting his chest. “I’m extremely lovable, in case you didn’t notice.”

He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. “Let’s do this,” he said, taking her hand again.

He knocked on the door. There was no response. Frowning he knocked again. Still no response. He tried to open the door, it wasn’t locked.

“Mom? Dad?” He called. “Thea?”

“In the kitchen,” a voice yelled.

Oliver and Felicity exchanged a look then he led them to the kitchen. A delicious smell was coming from the room and when they walked in, they found a woman busy cooking and a young girl sitting on a chair, with textbooks and notebooks sprawled on the table in front of her. The girl was wearing black pants and a black crop top, both with embroidered roses. She had put on her head a cat ear headband made of studded faux leather. She had wrapped a pink bandana around her throat and she looked like some sort of rock princess. Felicity liked her immediately.

“Where are mom and dad?” Oliver asked.

“They called, they’re going to be late,” the girl told him. “Something came up at QC.”

“They could have called me,” Oliver sighed. He shook his head. “Anyway, Thea this is my girlfriend Sophia, Sophia this is my little sister Thea.”

Felicity’s eyes widened when she got the confirmation this was indeed Oliver’s sister. “Oh you’re Speedy!” She winced. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that, Oliver told me you weren’t a fan of the nickname. But he always call you Speedy, not that I should be telling you that, and so in my head you’re Speedy. Anyway, it’s really nice to meet you, Oliver’s told me a lot about you and only good things, I promise.”

Oliver’s sister looked at her in confusion for a few seconds. _“Is she for real?”_ her eyes seemed to ask. “Do you always speak that much?”

“Only when I’m nervous. Or in presence of gorgeous people.” She clamped her mouth shut. “Oh my god I swear I wasn’t hitting on you, I was just thinking back to the first time I met your brother. Boy the babbles that followed weren’t pretty.”

Thea’s eyes moved from Felicity to her brother. “I like her,” she said.

Felicity started blushing. “You Queen people are so weird.”

Oliver kissed her temple. “You like it.”

“Probably because I’m weird too,” she replied and they all laughed.

“What are you doing here Speedy anyway?”

“Working on some stuff,” she said. “I’m trying to get Raisa to help me.”

“I told you Miss Thea, I know nothing about triangles and theorems,” the woman who was cooking said, turning toward them.

Oliver, who was still holding Felicity hands walked to her. “Raisa, this is my girlfriend Sophia.”

“Wait, so you’re Raisa? _The_ Raisa?” Felicity said excitedly. She had thought she’d caught her name wrong when Thea had said it.

“The one and only Miss Sophia,” she confirmed, smiling warmly.

“It’s so nice to meet you! Oliver’s told me a lot about you and I feel like I should thank you for turning him into a cordon bleu chef. I swear I’ve put on a few pounds since we started dating.”

“Well you haven’t put on enough weight yet. Look at you, all skin and bones!”

Felicity chuckled. “I don’t think so.” This wasn’t false modesty. She knew she wasn’t “all skin and bones”. She had some curves, she was a woman after all, and a foody one on top of everything. It didn’t bother her at all, she was comfortable in her own skin and Oliver seemed to like her body just fine. All in all, she was in a good shape and she exercised regularly to stay that way.

They talked some more with the Russian woman before she sent them away to finish cooking.

“I’m going to call my parents, see if they’re on their way,” he told her.

He walked out of the kitchen and Felicity made her way to Thea. She quickly glanced at what she was working before nudging her.

“What?” Thea asked.

“You might wanna change that,” she pointed at something she had written.

Thea frowned. “I made a mistake?”

Felicity nodded.

“You understand that stuff?”

She shrugged. “Kinda.”

“Could you –“ she hesitated, embarrassment coloring her cheeks and Felicity’s heart melted a little, “could you explain it to me?”

Felicity grabbed her textbook and a few minutes later, Oliver found them absorbed in a conversation about numbers and figures and calculations. He watched them for a few more seconds before saying.

“They’re on their way. Maybe we should go wait for them in the living-room.”

“Alright, thanks for helping me Sophia.” Thea closed her books.

“You’re very welcome,” Felicity replied with a small smile on her lips.

Oliver waited until she had rushed to put her things back in her room and left them alone to say.

“I didn’t know you were a math genius,” he told her, lacing his fingers with hers.

She shrugged. “I’m not a genius,” she was quick to correct him. “I was an average student but I’ll admit I’ve always had a soft spot for math.”

He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. “Well, you learn something new every day,” he commented.

She nodded, glad that he wasn’t seeing too much in her helping his sister out. He then proceeded to lead her to the living room, telling her stories about the paintings, hallways and rooms they passed on the way. Thea soon joined them. They hadn’t been in the living-room for more than five minutes when they heard the front door open and close. Felicity’s heart jumped in her chest.

Okay, this was it. This was the moment.

_You’ve got this Smoak. Layton. Sophia. Felicity._

_Fuck._

Moira and Robert Queen made their entrance looking perfect even if they were half an hour late and had probably rushed to get home. They greeted their children first while Felicity watched them, twisting the fabric of her skirt in her hand – she was wearing polka dots, what had she been thinking wearing stupid polka dots to meet Oliver’s family? – until suddenly their attention fell on her.

“Mom, dad, this is my girlfriend Sophia Layton,” Oliver introduced her.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Queen,” Felicity replied, shaking their hands. Robert grip was firm while Moira’s was tight.

“Likewise dear,” Moira replied gracefully. “I apologize for our lateness and I hope my children took good care of you.”

“You don’t have to worry about anything, you raised two wonderful children.”

“Well thank you,” Moira said.

“Everything alright?” Oliver asked.

“Some viruses infected our system from the inside again…”

“Oh Robert please,” Moira interrupted him, “you’ll bore the children out if you start talking about QC.”

“Oh you’re right. Besides it’s not like they’re going to understand anything about this anyway.”

Felicity stiffened, somehow feeling targeted by Robert’s dig. She forced herself to shake off the feeling and ignore the tension she could feel building in the room.

Dinner passed relatively quickly. Felicity didn’t speak much and listened to Robert discuss politics and economics with his son until Moira had enough and started sharing stories about Oliver and Thea’s childhood. The two siblings reacted to every single thing she said, claiming she was exaggerating, and bantered wittily the rest of the time. It was obvious they loved each other a lot, in spite of all their teasing, and that Thea adored her brother just as much as he did her. Felicity also realized the young girl had a spine made of steel and a will of her own, much to her protective big brother’s annoyance.

Desert had just been brought when Moira asked.

“So, Oliver, Sophia, how did you two meet?”

Felicity frowned and glanced at Oliver. “You didn’t tell them?”

He shook his head. “I had so much to tell about you, I didn’t have the time to tell them about our first meeting.”

Felicity raised a questioning eyebrow.

“He only said good things,” Thea promised, winking at her.

Felicity chuckled. “Good,” she said. “We met at my place of work,” she told them. “I’m afraid I spilt a latte on him,” she remembered fondly, her voice softening as the memory of that warm summer day took over in her mind. He reached for her hand on the table and squeezed her fingers lightly.

“I can’t think of a better use for that coffee,” Oliver whispered, gazing lovingly at her.

“Oh that’s true, you work as a waitress at this _Jitters_ thing,” Robert recalled. “Son, I have to say I’m surprised, I didn’t know you frequented such places.”

Oliver and Felicity exchanged a look.

“Didn’t we get you a perfectly working coffee-machine for your housewarming?” He went on.

Oliver blinked. “Yes, you did but I wasn’t home and I wanted a cup of coffee.”

He gave his father a harsh look.

 _“What’s your problem?”_ His eyes seemed to ask.

“Maybe you should have waited,” his mother jumped in. “At home, there’s no risk to have your coffee be spilt on you by some clumsy waitresses.”

“Mom!” Oliver warned her.

“Oh I’m sorry Sophia dear, I’m sure it was just an accident.”

“An accident that led you straight into the life of Oliver Queen,” Robert added. “Some might say it was meant to be.”

His tone was so cynical, it made Felicity cringe internally. She had never been insulted so politely in her life before. She actually had a hard time noticing she was being insulted. But there was no mistaking Oliver’s body growing tight beside her. He was getting angry because he wasn’t letting himself be fooled by his parents’ apparent politeness. Felicity placed her free hand on his thigh underneath the table, trying to make him relax. When he did, under her touch, she placed it back on the table, not wanting to be accused of fondling him during dinner. She was grateful when Thea decided to change the topic, providing a much needed distraction.

“So Sophia, do you still work at _Jitters_?”

“Yeah I do for now. I’m also taking classes at Starling’s community college,” she explained, hoping it would help her get in the Queens’ good graces. She wasn’t some dumb girl who intended to be a waitress for the rest of her life – not that only dumb girls remained waitresses for the rest of their lives, her mother had been far from being dumb.

“Community college?” Moira repeated, batting her eyes. “You don’t have a college degree?”

“No Mrs. Queen, I don’t,” she lied through gritted teeth. Even though she wasn’t technically lying. She didn’t have a college degree. She had _two_ master degrees.

“Please, don’t tell me you didn’t go to college to follow some boys or something.”

Felicity frowned because _really_? That was her first thought?

“Well, my mother fell gravely ill shortly after I graduated from high-school. I had to take a job to help pay the bills.”

“That’s unfortunate,” Robert commented. “What about your father?”

Felicity’s grip around her spoon tightened. Slowly, she unclenched her fingers and put it back on the table. “My father has never really been a part of my life.”

“Oh I see,” he said. “And do you have any idea about the kind of job you’d like to have?”

She nodded. “Yes, I’m thinking about becoming a teacher.”

“You’d be an amazing one,” Thea cut in enthusiastically. “You were a great help earlier with my homework.”

Felicity looked down toward her plate. “That was nothing.”

“A teacher that’s interesting.” Except Moira was making it sound like it was the worst thing ever. Felicity felt heat flare beneath her cheeks. This was so humiliating, she felt so humiliated. Their words felt like slaps in her face. She wished she could just tell them about her MIT degrees and see how they’d react to the news that _no_ she wasn’t _that_ blonde.

“I guess not everybody can work at the DA’s office like Ms. Lance,” Moira added, trying to keep her tone light and casual.

Felicity blinked just as Oliver tightened his grip on her hand on the table enough to hurt. “Ms. Lance?” She asked.

“Oliver’s former girlfriend,” Moira supplied. “She’s a delightful young woman with such a promising career ahead of her.”

If their earlier words had felt like a slap, this felt like a punch in her stomach. Letting go of Oliver’s hand, she got up. Thea’s eyes widened in surprise while her parents merely blink.

“Well, thank you all for this lovely dinner but I think I should go now. It’s obvious that you’ve already made up your mind about me and it’s alright. I’m aware of my worth and I don’t need your validation to feel good about who I am.” She then turned away before pausing, turning around again and saying.

“Most internal viruses come from downloading files that shouldn’t be downloaded in the first place. A fun idea for your IT department would be to design a system that would grant internet access to your employees while also restricting said access so that they can only use it to work.” A pause. “But then again, it’s not like I understand anything about those things.”

She turned around without glancing back. She heard a chair being pulled back then.

“You’re not going to go after _that girl_ Oliver?”

“ _That girl_ as you so nicely say it, is my _girlfriend_ dad. I care about her a lot and if you cared about me at all, you wouldn’t have treated her that way. Don’t try to call me, I won’t pick up.”

 

**_Oliver’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

Later, much later, they were lying on Oliver’s bed, their legs tangled together, Felicity’s head resting on his chest while their hands were joined on his shoulder. His thumb was drawing small circles on her skin. They hadn’t talked about going back to his place, it had just happened. As if they had known, in spite of everything, that they wanted to be with each other. As a result, she was wearing his clothes to bed and had borrowed a toothbrush from him. They hadn’t talked much since they’d left the Queen mansion after their disastrous dinner with his family actually. They had both been processing.

Especially Felicity.

So much had happened during dinner, she had needed some time to try to understand it all.

And now she did.

Oliver’s parents didn’t like her. They _despised_ her actually. They thought she was a dumb girl with no degree, a wannabe gold-digger who was trying to climb her way to the top by dating their son. They didn’t even believe their meeting had been a total accident. And thank God they hadn’t gotten to the part of the story where they’d met again at _Verdant_ because what would his parents have thought then? That she had stalked him there, his best friend Tommy Merlyn was the owner of the club, and bumped into him again on purpose? She internally cringed. Even she, who know this wasn’t what had happened, didn’t like how the situation looked like.

She moved from where she was lying against him to roll on her stomach so that she could look at him. He tilted his head.

“I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time.

They smiled at each other.

“You go first,” he told her.

She shook her head. “Go ahead.”

He sighed, his shoulders dropping a little. “I’m sorry about tonight. About my parents.”

“Don’t apologize on their behalf,” she was quick to say, not wanting him to blame himself for the actions of others. “This wasn’t your fault.”

“But it was,” he insisted. “I was afraid this would happen. I know my parents, I know they have this precise idea of what my life should look like.”

“And let me guess, I don’t fit their idea of the perfect girlfriend?”

He looked down. “I’m sorry.”

“And Ms. Lance do?”

He flinched. “About that…” He started.

She raised a hand to stop him. “It’s alright, you don’t have to tell me anything.”

“But I want to.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe the audacity of my mother. Bring her up in front of you…”

“It’s alright Oliver, I promise. It’s not like I’ve told you everything about my past relationships either.”

His thumb softly caressed the skin of her cheek. “I don’t want any secrets between us.”

Her heart skipped a beat in her chest. She nervously pinched her lips and nodded slowly.

“Laurel… She was my girlfriend in high-school and then we tried the long distance relationship thing, it didn’t really work out for us. I wasn’t a good boyfriend when we were together in the same city, I became worse once separated.”

She frowned. “You cheated on her?” She asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

“I’m not proud of that,” he admitted. “I was a jerk back then and she deserved better, we both knew it but it didn’t matter to her. She had a very specific idea of what her life should be and I was involved in it.”

“Of course. Oliver Queen.” She didn’t know this Laurel person but she already hated her. Gently she ran a hand through his hair, showing him her support.

“Anyway, we eventually broke up. My dad took me on a boat ride, he wanted to talk to me, knock some sense into me.” He paused. “We had an accident,” he revealed. “We almost died.”

Felicity’s eyes widened. “You never told me about that. What happened?”

“Storm. We were found a few days later, we had managed to climb on the lifeboat.” His eyes didn’t seem to see her anymore, he was completely lost in his own mind. “I’m never setting a foot on a boat ever again,” he said before clearing his throat and snapping himself back from his thoughts. “Anyway, this experience changed me. I decided I was done being a screw-up. I got back to school, got my degree and came back to Starling a new man. Laurel and I started dating again but we… We lacked chemistry.”

“Chemistry?” Felicity repeated.

“Yep. No fire, no burning desire, no passion nothing.”

“Do you think we have chemistry?” She asked, tilting her head.

She was teasing him. She knew they had a lot of chemistry. There had been something between them from the very start. A pull, an attraction that had only grown bigger since. As for the fire, burning desire and passion he had previously mentioned, they were very well equipped in that department. They were constantly touching, constantly kissing and it led, more often than not, to some horizontal activities – that technically weren’t always horizontal, because they were very good at doing things vertically too, actually they were very good at doing all kind of things, in all kind of positions.

He nodded his head vigorously. “I think we have _plenty_ of chemistry.”

“Are you sure?” She insisted. She was teasing him on purpose. She wanted to erase the sadness she could see in his eyes, the guilt too. “Because I’m not sure. I mean, things are okay between us in bed but…”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I mean it’s nice,” she went on, internally giggling at the offended look on his face.

“ _Nice_?”

“Yeah you know, it’s good but…” Before she could finish her sentence, he had rolled her on her back.

“I’ll show you okay, nice and good,” he mumbled, undoing the buttons of the shirt she was wearing.

She burst out laughing and he swallowed the sound with his lips.

Later, much _much_ later, they were both a lot more naked and a lot more sated.

“So…” Felicity said, trying to get her breathing back under control, “that was…”

“I swear if you say “okay”, “nice” or “good”…”

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” she cut him off, articulating every syllable.

He smiled, and nuzzled her neck. “God I love you.”

“Ditto,” she replied, humming happily. “Oliver?” She asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Yes?” He looked up to meet her eyes. Her heart fluttered in her chest at the look in his blue orbs.

“I,” she bit on her lower lip in worry. “I’m sorry. I know how important your family is to you… I never meant to cause any problems.”

He shook his head. “Hey you’re not causing problems. They are.”

“I –“

“And whatever happens,” he cut her off. “We’ll face it together. Okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.” She stared at him for a moment, her heart clenching painfully in her chest. She loved him so much… “Kiss me,” she breathed out, her need for him causing her actual physical pain. “I think I need more convincing on the whole chemistry front.”

He laughed. Then he kissed her.

Deeply.

 

**_Jitters, Starling City_ **

 

A week later, Felicity was at work, minding her own business when whispers made her turn toward the door. She jaw almost dropped when she saw who had just walked in.

Moira freaking Queen.

She was looking around as if she owned the place, standing in all her royal glory.

Felicity gulped. She hadn’t seen or heard from her since that disastrous dinner at the Queen mansion. She knew Oliver hadn’t talked to his parents either, at least not outside work.

Moira’s eyes scanned the room until they fell on her. Then she started walking in her direction. Felicity stiffened, preparing herself for an unpleasant conversation.

“Ms. Layton, can I have a word please?”

It sounded like a question, but she might as well have said “ _A word please.”_ It was impossible to miss the unwavering certainty of her voice, the certainty that told Felicity she had come to get what she wanted, no matter what. Now, Felicity wasn’t a petty person but she had principles, yeah shocking considering her past, and she tried her best to stick to them. Moira Queen was no literal Queen and even though she was a powerful and influent woman, she had no say in other people’s lives. She had no right to barge in while Felicity was working and demand things from her, no matter how polite she was trying to appear.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Queen but as you can see, I’m busy working,” she replied, concise and polite.

“Sophia,” her boss barked from behind the counter. “Come here please!”

“Excuse me,” she curtly said to Moira before leaving.

Her boss grabbed her arm and dragged her inside the kitchen, behind the counter.

“What does Moira Queen want to do with you?”

Felicity shrugged. “I have no idea.”

And it wasn’t a lie. She didn’t know what the other woman wanted, probably tell her how she was a terrible potential daughter-in-law again. Not that Felicity could see herself marry Oliver, because she totally didn’t, but if they remained together, and she had a feeling they would, then it was what she’d be to his parents. A daughter-in-law. Kind of. Ugh.

“Well go find out.”

“I have…” She started to protest.

“Listen kid, when Moira Queen comes in and asks to speak with you, you go speak with her, no questions asked, no protests vocalized.”

Felicity arched an eyebrow. “You’re aware “Queen” is just her name, right?”

“And you’re aware I can fire you with just a word, right?”

Felicity rolled her eyes at her before walking out of the kitchen and back to Moira Queen.

“Mrs. Queen, my boss just informed me it was time for me to take a break so if you still want to have a word, I’m free.”

“Well that’s perfect,” she stated.

She moved to the back of the room and sat down, placing her designer back by her chair. Table 16. Felicity smiled.

“What is it Ms. Layton?” Moira asked as Felicity took a seat in front of her.

“It’s where Oliver was sitting when I first met him.”

“When you spilt his coffee on him you mean?”

Felicity’s shoulders fell. “Precisely.” A brief pause. “What did you want to tell me?”

“Straight to the point,” Moira commented.

“Always.”

“First, I’d like to tell you my son is not aware of my presence here. I came here on my own.” Her voice trailed down and it gave Felicity a few seconds to understand what she meant. “I’m here today to apologize.”

Felicity’s eyes widened and her heart jumped in her chest. She hadn’t been expecting that. She swallowed. “Apologize?” She repeated.

“Yes,” Moira confirmed. “I didn’t treat you the way a guest should be treated during our dinner. I failed to be a good host to you and for that I apologize.”

Felicity nodded. “I appreciate it.”

“And while I apologize for my rudeness, I do not apologize for what I said.” Outraged, Felicity opened her mouth to say something but Moira stopped her by raising her hand. “Many people see me as this cold businesswoman who would stop at nothing to protect her company. But the truth is, I’m a wife and a mother first Ms. Layton and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect my family. They are what matters most to me. One day, when you have children of your own, you’ll understand that.”

Felicity didn’t say anything. She already understood the need to protect. Wasn’t she lying about everything to protect herself and, to some extent, protect those she cared about?

“That being said,” Moira went on, “I realized that perhaps I’d been unfair to you and also too judgmental.”

Felicity blinked. Then she frowned, taken aback by that sudden turnaround. It didn’t make sense, Moira Queen didn’t strike her as the type who would just come to you and tell you she’d been wrong about you out of the blue.

Then she remembered.

A few days ago, she had received a few alerts on her phone because someone had been looking for information on Sophia Layton. She had set a few traps in case Cooper escaped from prison and came looking for her. That way if he managed to trace her back through her false identity, she’d be informed early enough to have the time to disappear again. He hadn’t been the one to trigger her traps and when she had tried to find out who had been digging up information on her, she had realized it was some kind of private detective, with no connection with any of the Brother Eye members.

She understood now that said private detective had been hired by Moira Queen.

It took her less than a minute to consider her options. There was no way she could confront Moira on the whole private detective business. She guessed Oliver’s mother hadn’t hired a novice to do the job meaning hadn’t she be who she was, she’d have never known about the investigation in the first place. If she confronted Moira, she’d raise her suspicions. That wasn’t acceptable. Besides, maybe it was time she gave herself some credit. Her false identity was so good, it had convinced Moira that maybe she really was who she pretended to be and that she didn’t have any ulterior motives, which she didn’t. All that left her with one possible course of action: accept Moira’s apology and olive branch gracefully and try to get along with her.

“Thank you, it means a lot to me to hear that,” she eventually said, a small smile on her lips.

Moira nodded. “It’s obvious my son really cares about you. I love my son and for him, I’m willing to give you a chance. But if you ever do anything against him or my family, I’ll make sure it’s the last thing you ever do.”

Felicity blinked. Leave it to Moira Queen to give you her blessing, somehow, and threaten you at the same time.

“I really love your son Mrs. Queen. I would never do anything to hurt him.” The words felt weak to her ears and she hoped her eyes conveyed the true depth of her emotions.

“We’ll see about that,” Moira replied. “I understand my son wanted you to be his date for our annual Christmas party.”

Felicity nodded. “Yes, he wanted it to be our first public date too.”

“It’s an excellent idea. We’ll have a better control over the media this way.”

“The media?”

“Yes, the media, the press, whatever you wish to call them. My son has quite the reputation with women, it’s highly likely they’ll be interested in you and your relationship with him.”

“Oh God I forgot about that,” Felicity sighed, her shoulders falling a little.

Moira frowned. “If you can’t handle it, then maybe you should think about terminating your relationship with my son, before he gets even more involved than he already is.”

 “It’s just a lot to take in,” Felicity admitted, not really annoyed with her suggestion because she understood what the other woman meant.

“Yes, I guess it is,” she agreed. “Anyway,” she said as she got up, “I hope to see you on my son’s arm at the party.”

“Of course,” Felicity replied, getting up as well.

Moira stared at her from head to toe and Felicity felt heat flare beneath her cheeks.

“Tell me something, do you always dress like that?”

Felicity frowned and looked down at her clothes. What was wrong with her golden jumper and salmon pink pants?

“I like colors,” she explained. “I believe people need more colors in their life,” she added. “It’s an easy way to bring some light into it.”  Maybe it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to say, considering the other woman wore a dark navy blue dress but she didn’t care. She wasn’t exactly trying to woo Moira, she wanted her to know who she really was.

“Perhaps you’re right Ms. Layton.” Felicity bowed her head a little, a small smile on her lips. “Good day to you.”

“Good day to you too,” she replied.

 

**_Plaza Hotel, Starling City_ **

****

“So… This is it,” Felicity said as the car was stopping in front of the Plaza Hotel.

A crowd of journalists had taken place on both sides of the alley which lead to the entrance of the hotel. They were snapping pictures of the guests as they arrived, and probably shouting a few questions as well.

Oliver grabbed her hand and squeezed tightly.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” he told her, his tone gentle, his voice meant to soothe her nerves.

“What if I trip and fall? What if I babble in front of them?”

“They’ll fall in love with you,” he said. “I’m speaking from experience.” He punctuated his sentence with a wink and Felicity rolled her eyes at him.

“You sweet talker,” she told him, cupping his cheek for a brief second, the gesture affectionate.

“Your sweet talker,” he agreed.

She shook her head. “Okay let’s go before I get a toothache from so much sweetness.”

Oliver laughed at that and then got out of the car. He walked to her side, opened her door and helped her out. Her grip on his hand was probably a bit too tight but he didn’t complain. She was holding onto him as if he was her lifeline and he might as well be considering what they were about to do.

They started to make their way toward the hotel’s entrance. Felicity’s eyes widened a little when she realized a red carpet was covering a ground. An actual _red carpet._

“Wow, your parents aren’t joking when they organize a party!” She whispered. “Way to make the employees feel special.”

Oliver chuckled beside her.

“Mr. Queen! Mr. Queen!”

“Mr. Queen a picture please!”

“Who’s with you Mr. Queen?”

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“What about you and Laurel?”

“Mr. Queen please look over here!”

“Just ignore them,” Oliver whispered in her ear, urging them up.

He stopped them right in front of the hotel’s doors where a cute blonde with a high-ponytail was standing. She was holding a mic and had a professional look in her eyes, hidden behind her glasses. Felicity’s kind of women.

“This is Rachel Harrison, Starling’s best journalist,” Oliver told her.

“Flattery doesn’t work on me Mr. Queen, you know that,” the woman replied, a small smile on her lips.

“How many times have I told you to just call me Oliver? Mr. Queen is my father.”

“About a million times?” She suggested.

“That seems correct,” he agreed.

“And who’s this lovely lady accompanying you Mr. Queen?”

Felicity felt her cheeks redden. “Oh I’m no lady,” she was quick to deny. “Just a girl.”

Rachel smiled sympathetically at her.

“This is Sophia Layton and don’t listen to a word she says. She is a lovely lady.”

Felicity nudged him. He just kissed her temple in reply, squeezing her fingers, all of that under Rachel’s watchful gaze.

“I’m taking the two of you are dating?”

Oliver nodded. “Yes we are, have been for a few months now.”

The journalist’s smile widened and Felicity could tell it was genuine. “Well, I’m happy for you! You look very good together.” Felicity blushed at that. “Now Mr. Queen I have to ask you about Queen Consolidated and your new deal with…”

The sound of the crowd drowned out the voice of Rachel Harrison to Felicity’s ears as she looked around and watched Starling City’s finest people make their way inside the hotel. She felt out of place among them. After all, she was just a girl from Vegas, she had no fortune except the one of her mind. She didn’t belong with these people. But she wasn’t here for them. She was here for Oliver, _with_ Oliver.

And she belonged with him.

Soon enough, they were inside the hotel. They got rid of their coats, leaving them to a staff member who put them in the cloakroom _._ They walked to the reception hall where they were greeted by Oliver’s parents and his sister, Thea.

“Oliver, Sophia, thank God you’re here!” The brunette said, a bright smile stretching her lips.

She hugged them both and while Felicity was surprised to be given the same amount of affection as Oliver, she didn’t mind it. Not one bit.

“Son,” Robert said, shaking his son’s hand.

“Sophia dear, it’s good to see you,” Moira told her, as composed as always. Still there was more warmth to her voice than during their previous encounters. Maybe she really was trying after all.

“Thank you Mrs. Queen! This is a beautiful party!” She complimented her.

And she truly meant it. The hall had been decorated tastefully, the food looked delicious and the guests seemed to be enjoying themselves. The party was flawless but then, Felicity was starting to realize Moira Queen never delivered anything but perfection.

“I should warn you,” Moira started, “we extended an invitation to the DA office and Ms. Lance, among other people, choose to accept it.”

“Oh,” Felicity replied, her shoulders falling slightly. So Oliver’s ex-girlfriend was here. Laurel Lance, the epitome of the perfect daughter-in-law.

_Great._

“That’s gonna be awkward,” Thea whispered, a nervous look on her face.

Felicity agreed with her but she knew that attitude wouldn’t help her gain the favors of Oliver’s family. They were all very important for him and for his sake, she wanted the whole lot of them to get along. “No, why would it be?” She said lightly. “We’re all adults here, enjoying a party and raising money so that every child of Starling has a beautiful Christmas. There is no place for awkwardness, only for the spirit of Christmas.”

Oliver, whose hand laid low on her waist, squeezed her hip. “I could not have said it better!”

Felicity beamed at him and he leaned down for a quick peck.

 

**_Plaza Hotel’s bathroom, Starling City_ **

****

Felicity was washing her hands when the door to the bathroom opened to let a blonde woman confidently walk in. She was wearing a stylish black dress which clung to her body. She was tall and gorgeous, there was no denying it but Felicity thought she was too skinny. She was all skin and bones and the hollowness of her cheeks made her look hard and severe.

After this quick glance, Felicity focused back on her task, and dried her hands. When she turned around, the woman was still standing in front of the door and was staring down at her, her blue eyes cold and calculating.

“Can I help you?” Felicity asked gently, suddenly feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

“So you’re _her_ ,” the woman said or rather spat out. “Oliver’s new girl.”

Felicity took a step back, assessing the situation. “You must be Laurel.”

“I am.”

“Alright…” She frowned. “Is there something you want? Aside from staring at me?”

“Actually yes there is,” Laurel took a step toward her. “I want to give a piece of advice.”

Felicity tilted her head, confused. “A piece of advice?”

“Yes about Oliver. I saw the two of you dance earlier. You made quite a nice picture,” she chuckled dryly. “You seem to really care for him. You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t get too attached. Oliver is not your prince charming and you’re not his Cinderella. You’re nothing more but a passion, a distraction he indulges in until he comes back to his senses.”

“And to you I presume?” Felicity said, anger simmering in her chest.

“Yes, to me.” She paused for a second. “Oliver and I, we are meant to be and we will be.”

Felicity crossed her arms over her chest. “You seem to be a very confident woman. And you know what? So am I. I’m confident in my relationship and I will not let myself be bullied by you.” She stopped herself, thinking back for a second to her past, to the people she had faced. Most of them had been far scarier and intimidating than Laurel Lance. “I love Oliver and he loves me. We’re happy together. You should get used to it.”

She walked out after that and never looked back.

 

**_Felicity and Caitlin’s apartment, Starling City_ **

 

 

“What a bitch! I can’t believe it, the _audacity_ of her…”

Caitlin scandalized look made Felicity smile where she was sitting on the couch in their living-room, a warm cup of hot chocolate between her hands.

“I know right? I thought to myself “ _Is she for real? Who do you think she is?_ ”…”

“Really what a bitch,” her friend repeated, shaking her head vigorously.

Felicity had just told her about her meeting with Laurel Lance the previous night. She had briefly mentioned the unpleasant encounter to Oliver after they had gone back to his apartment but she hadn’t exactly lingered on it. She just didn’t want him to worry about it. Now that she was home, with her best friend, she could finally let out her anger and frustration.

“But you did well,” Caitlin went on. “You held your ground and politely told her where to stick it, that’s my girl!”

She raised her hand. Felicity smiled and gave her a high-five.

“But seriously, I’m proud of you Sophia Layton.”

Felicity tilted her head. “Why?”

“Because you’ve changed a lot. I remember when we went out to _Verdant_ that night. You were so shy and reserved… Now look at you! Rubbing your happiness in a bitch’s face.” They both laughed. “You’ve come a long way.”

“It’s Oliver,” Felicity replied, her voice dreamy. “He makes me feel safe.”

As opposed to how she’d felt with Cooper.

Scared, threatened, a hostage in their relationship.

Oliver made her feel safe and loved. He protected her and cherished her. He made it possible for her to unravel her potential and it was one of the many reasons why she loved him.

“You guys are so sweet,” Caitlin whispered, a hint of longing in her voice.

Felicity elbowed her. “Hey! You and Dr. Sexy are just as sweet.”

Caitlin gently hit her with a pillow. “Don’t call him that!”

“Well, he’s a doctor and he’s hot so…” She ducked to avoid the pillow thrown at her. Caitlin’s pink cheeks made her grin.

“He’s invited me over for Christmas,” she confessed. “He heard I wasn’t going home and planning on working extra hours at the hospital.”

Felicity’s eyes widened. “Christmas? With his family?” Caitlin nodded. “That’s huge.” Again, Caitlin nodded. “But if I can go to the Queens’, you can go to the Raymonds’.”

“I thought you were Jewish,” Caitlin said.

“I am. But Oliver invited me and I can tell his parents are really trying so… The least I can do is try as well. Besides, I’ve never been known to turn down an invitation to dinner.” She punctuated her statement with a proud smile that made Caitlin shake her head at her.

“So I guess we’re really doing this.”

“We are,” Felicity confirmed.

Caitlin took a sip of her hot chocolate. “I’m happy Soph,” she suddenly confessed, her voice soft. “You, Ronnie, the internship… You make me happy.”

Felicity smiled and reached for her hand, squeezing her fingers gently. “I’m happy too.”

 

**_Aspen Valley Hospital, Aspen_**

****

Felicity hated hospitals.

She hated the bleach’s scent, the tiled floor, the yellow flickering lights on the ceiling. She hated the hurry in which everyone always seem to be, the pressure, the stress that were leaking from the walls.

But most of all, she hated the memories being in a hospital brought back to the surface.

Memories of her mother, when her broken body had been connected to big machines by so many tubes and wires she hadn’t had the courage to count them all. The piercing sound of the ECG after her heart had stopped beating.

Memories of herself, when every breath had been a fight after three of her ribs had been broken. The feel of her own dried blood sticking to her face after it had poured from her nose like a gruesome red fountain. She hadn’t known it was possible for a person to lose that much blood.

Memories of Cooper’s voice, when he told the nurse the tale of her fall in the stairs. She had confirmed everything, knowing full-well he’d do far worse if she tried to ask for help. The nurse had looked at her with sad eyes but hadn’t said anything.

“I want to leave,” Felicity told Oliver, the urgency in her tone barely concealed.

“We can’t, we have to see the doctor.”

“Please Oliver,” she pleaded, tightening her grip on his fingers.

“Sophia no! What if your ankle’s broken? We have to stay.”

“It’s not broken!” She was quick to reply. She was feeling hot, her cheeks were burning and she had some trouble breathing. It was a panic attack, she knew the signs but could do nothing to stop it.

“You don’t know that. Come on, I’m sure the doctor will be here soon.”

“Oliver please, I hate it here,” she whispered.

She blinked and her heart stopped in her chest. It wasn’t Oliver sitting beside her, holding her hand. It was _him._

She blinked again and here they were, Oliver’s gentle blue eyes. She forced herself to take a deep breath.

“Can we go please?” She asked again, feeling the lump in her throat grow bigger with the tears she kept holding back.

Oliver tilted his head in concern. “What’s wrong babe?”

“I just really hate hospitals,” she whispered, her voice breaking a little.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay!” He said, moving over to sit on her bed and take her in his arms. “You’re alright,” he whispered.

She exhaled so deeply, her whole body shook. Oliver tightened his hold on her and she tried to relax in his embrace. He let his chin rest on top of her hair and brought one of his hands up. He tenderly caressed her hair, soothing her with the slow, repetitive motion.

“How about we play a little game?”

She shut her eyes closed to better focus on his voice. “What kind of game?”

“The kind where you think about what we’ll do later after we go back to the cabin.”

She pinched her lips tightly together. “What will we do?” She asked, needing him to speak more, to never stop talking.

“I was thinking of trying out the hot tub on the terrace. We could open a bottle of wine.”

“I love red wine.”

He chuckled. “I know. Then I’d cook us dinner and we’d eat by the fire, trading stories of our best New Year’s Eves. I’d kiss at midnight, tell you how much I love you and we’d end up making love by the fire.” He kissed her temple as he said that and she felt the tension in her body loosen up a bit.

“I’m sorry I ruined our romantic getaway,” she sighed, clenching the fabric of her sweater.

“You haven’t ruined anything. Well perhaps sex on the floor will be a tad complicated and uncomfortable with your ankle but I’m sure we can manage.”

The lightness of his tone made her smile. He pulled away from her so that he could see her face.

“Much better,” he replied, his thumb brushing her lips.

“Thanks,” she whispered.

He just kissed her as a reply.

And later, when they came back to the cabin, they followed his plans for the evening to the letter.

It became Felicity’s new best New Year’s Eve.

Her best and her happiest.

 

* * *

 

 

**_February 2016 – Felicity and Caitlin’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

“What’s wrong?” Oliver asked.

Felicity sighed as she dropped her keys on the coffee table. He had waited until they were back at her apartment to ask her the question she was sure had burnt his lips for most of the evening. She was glad he’d waited because she would have hated to cause a scene at the restaurant.

“I uh –“ she hesitated for a second before pulling the small velvet box he had given her earlier for Valentine’s Day. “I can’t accept these,” she said, placing the box on the kitchen counter.

Oliver frowned in confusion. “I don’t understand… Don’t you like them?”

She shook her head, her eyes fluttering close at the memory of the earrings he’d bought for her. “No, I like them just fine. They’re gorgeous, really, but they’re too much.”

“Too much? They’re just earrings!”

“No,” she cut him off, “that’s the thing. They’re not _just_ earrings. They’re very expensive diamond earrings.”

“What’s the problem?”

Her eyes widened. “What’s the problem?” She snorted. “The problem is I can’t keep up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oliver, you offered me priceless earrings and I got you two ties. If you don’t see what the problem is, then we have another problem on top of the one currently in our plates.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Money.”

“Yes, money.” She cleared her throat. “Listen, it’s one thing to go to your parents’ cabin for a few days but it’s a whole other to take me to gourmet restaurants I can’t afford, and offer me earrings I’d never look at, least of all touch.”

“Money is not a problem for me Sophia,” he told her.

“I know and that’s the problem for me. I don’t want you to spend that much on me.”

“It’s not that much,” he assured her and that made her cringe.

“It is for me,” she insisted, holding back a sigh of frustration. “I can’t spend as much money as you do.”

“I don’t expect you to,” Oliver told her, frowning.

“I know but in the meantime, I don’t feel like we’re equals in this relationship.”

“We are,” he argued.

“No we’re not. I can’t buy you diamond earrings. Not that I would if I could because that’s definitely not your style but you get what I mean.”

“Babe, what you give me is priceless and far more precious than a pair of earrings. You give me love.”

Felicity’s eyes fluttered close as his words warmed her heart. “And you give me love too,” she said back, her voice soft. “That’s more than enough for me.” Her voice trailed down. “When we started dating, when it was just us, it was better. I felt better.”

Oliver arched an eyebrow. “Are you sure money’s the problem? Are you sure it’s not me?”

“What? No! I love you Oliver.”

He shook his head. “This isn’t about love. This is about me.” He sighed, shaking his head. “You said it yourself, you felt better at the beginning of our relationship. When you didn’t know who I was.” He looked away and when he spoke again, the sadness in his voice broke her heart. “You didn’t sign up to be with Oliver Queen and now you’re realizing perhaps it’s too much for you.”

“I –“ she started to protest. But she closed her eyes and her shoulders fell, defeated. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not going to change Sophia. I’m always going to be Oliver Queen.”

“I know,” she whispered.

He rubbed a hand over his face. “Listen, I’m going to go now and when you’ve figured things out, give me a call.”

He left then and she found herself alone in her apartment.

How had things gone so wrong so quickly?

She shook her head.

It hadn’t been quick.

Things had slowly deteriorated since their first public appearance.

Dating Oliver Queen wasn’t easy, it was a _lot_. Way more than what Felicity had expected.

Paparazzi followed them everywhere they went. Hell, they followed her everywhere she went! She was more often than not featured in gossips’ websites, with pictures focusing on her hand in the hopes of seeing a ring or on her stomach in the hopes of seeing a bump.

It was suffocating, the attention. It was exhausting, constantly being in the public eye.

It wasn’t Oliver’s fault, of course. If anything the situation had made her in awe of him. How he had managed to keep his identity a secret for so long, how he had managed to keep them a secret for so long… It was an amazing feat. Now she only wished he’d managed to keep them hidden a little while longer.

The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on her. She had pushed him, tired of feeling like a dirty secret. Now she’d gladly take everything back for one more day of anonymity.

She thought back to that day at _Jitters,_ with Moira Queen.

_“If you can’t handle it, then maybe you should think about terminating your relationship with my son, before he gets even more involved than he already is.”_

She moved to her bedroom and collapsed on her bed. She opened one eye, checking the time on the clock on her bedside table. Her eyes fell on a picture of Oliver and her during their getaway in Aspen. It had been taken after she had injured herself skiing. Oliver was carrying her in his arms bridal style, her crutches were lying on the snowy ground and they were looking at each other as if they were the only two people left in the world. As if they were the only ones that mattered.

Her eyes fluttered close.

She just wanted Oliver.

Not Oliver Queen.

But she couldn’t have one without the other.

 

**_Oliver’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

Felicity took a deep settling breath, bracing herself for the upcoming conversation as best as she could. Then, she knocked, her decision made.

Oliver opened the door and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw her.

“Hi,” she said, her voice wavering just a bit. She hadn’t seen or heard from him in a couple of days. “I know you said to give you a call but this is not the kind of conversations we should be having over the phone…”

His grip on the door’s handle tightened, the muscle of his arm flexing in tension and she winced, realizing how she had made things sound.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it to sound so ominous.” She let out a shaky breath. “I’m not here to break up with you. I don’t want us to break up.”

She had thought about breaking up with him. She had seriously considered it, hence why it had taken her more than a day to get back to him.

Felicity knew she wasn’t right for him, she knew she didn’t deserve him. Oliver was kind and good and generous. He was everything she was not and more. He deserved better than her, better than a criminal and a liar. He deserved to be with a woman who would give herself completely to him.

From the moment he had opened himself to her, in a way she couldn’t, she had been thinking about ending their relationship, about finally doing the right thing and setting him free. And the occasion had been perfect. Letting him believe it was all too much for her and walking out of his life.

The occasion really had been perfect.

But she just loved him too much to let him go.

She loved him like she had never loved anyone else before. And she knew he loved her, she could feel it when he smiled at her after waking up, when he kissed her goodnight, when he hugged her tight after a few days apart.

If her life was meant to be a whole lie and she could only have one thing that was real and true then she wanted it to be their love.

“Can I come in?” She eventually asked, nervousness tying her stomach into tight knots.

He stepped aside to let her in. They moved to the living-room, silence stretching between them like an impassable pit.

Felicity leaned against the couch, Oliver against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed over his chest, his muscles bulging against the fabric of his Henley.

“I’m sorry,” he suddenly blurted out, much to her surprise.

She tilted her head. “About what?”

He shifted, as if he was embarrassed. “I’ve been thinking about our last conversation a lot and it occurred to me perhaps I came off a bit arrogant.”

She shook her head. “You weren’t. You were being honest. You _are_ Oliver Queen. You _are_ the heir to a fortune 500 company.”

“I wish I weren’t,” he admitted. She gave him a look. “Sometimes,” he corrected. “When the pressure’s too much, I just wish I could go away somewhere, change my name, change everything and be someone else. Be Oliver Jonas.”

Felicity started twisting the rings she was wearing. She knew the feeling.

“I don’t want you to change,” she whispered. “I don’t want you to be someone else.” She inhaled. Exhaled. “I love you Oliver. You and no one else.”

His eyes closed for a second as he took in her words. “Where does that leave us?”

“Well,” she took a step toward him. “I think we need to better protect ourselves. From the media and everything else.” He nodded his approval. “And no more very expensive diamond earrings,” she warned him, her arms coming up to circle his waist.

“Only on special occasions,” he countered.

She tilted her head. “What do you have in mind?”

He pretended to think. “Well, Valentine’s Day, your birthday, Hanukah, the anniversary of the day we met, of our first date and kiss, of the day I told you the truth about myself…”

She interrupted him by putting her index finger on his mouth. “That’s way too much,” she told him.

“Well, it’s not my fault if you make every moment I spend with you special.”

Warmth spread in her chest at his words. “I don’t,” she said.

“Yes you do,” he insisted. “You’re so beautiful and kind and perfect. You make my life better.”

Her eyes fluttered close and she pulled him to her, burying her face in his chest so that he wouldn’t see her tears.

_If only you knew the truth about me…_

“I love you,” she told him, her voice muffled by the fabric of his clothes.

“Love you more,” he replied, hugging her back.

 

* * *

 

 

**_May 2016 – Felicity and Caitlin’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

**Friday (6 th May 2016)**

**(8:20 p.m.)**

**Oliver: Have you ever been to Hawaii?**

Felicity, who had been working on a paper for one of her classes, frowned, surprised by her boyfriend’s question. A playful smile stretched her lips as she typed her reply.

**(8:21 p.m.)**

**Felicity: Never had the pleasure, why?**

**(8:24 p.m.)**

**Oliver: T & I were talking about my birthday and I realized you and me on a beach sounded far better than Vegas.**

**Oliver: T says I’m whipped**

**Oliver: And a sap**

**Oliver: I think we need to find him a girlfriend**

**Oliver: How serious are things btw Cait and her doctor?**

Felicity couldn’t help but chuckle. She had grown close to Oliver’s best friend Tommy and she had no problem picturing him teasing his friend about his relationship. He was still single and enjoying the company of ladies, most of whom he met at his club, _Verdant._

**(8:26 p.m.)**

**Felicity: Serious enough thank you**

**(8:27 p.m.)**

**Oliver: Damn…**

**Oliver: So about Hawaii**

**Oliver: Do you want to go?**

**(8:28 p.m.)**

**Felicity: It’s your birthday, what do you to do?**

**Oliver: You**

**Oliver: Damn that was horrible**

**Felicity: It was**

**(8:30 p.m.)**

**Oliver: As long as I get to eat my cake off you, I’ll be happy**

**Oliver: Now, if we could be on a beach with only the sound of the waves surrounding us…**

**Felicity: You’re such a poet…**

**(8:31 p.m.)**

**Oliver: you love it**

**Felicity: I love you**

**Oliver: Me too.**

**Oliver: (so we’re going?)**

**(8:32 p.m.)**

**Felicity: I’ll see if I can take a few days off**

* * *

 

 

**_July 2016 – Oliver’s apartment, Starling City_ **

 

“Sophia? Are you listening to me babe?”

Felicity blinked and brought her attention back on Oliver. They were in his apartment, enjoying the chocolate soufflés he had baked them as a dessert for the best dinner he had ever cooked her – and he had cooked her plenty of delicious meals.

They were celebrating the anniversary of the day they met. It had been a year since he had come into her life. She had a hard time believing it, even though the memory of that day was engraved in her mind, never to be forgotten. She just felt as if she had known him for far longer than a year.

She felt as if she had known him her entire life.

“Yes, yes, I am,” she assured him, reaching for his hand. She squeezed his fingers.

“Are you sure? Your eyebrows are doing that crinkly thing they do whenever something’s bothering you…”

“Nothing’s bothering me,” she told him, not wanting to ruin their evening with her problems.

“Hey, you know you can talk to me, right?”

She nodded. “It’s just something Caitlin told me…” She looked down toward her plate where she was torturing her soufflé with her spoon. “She told me Ronnie asked her to move in with him and she’s considering it. I don’t want her to leave, I don’t want to have to find another roommate, I’m never going to find someone as great as her…”

Oliver remained silent for a long while, long enough for Felicity to wonder if she had ruined their romantic evening.

“What if there was someone who could be an even better roommate than her?”

She laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “Who?”

“Well, me,” he said.

She dropped her spoon. “You? You want to be my roommate?”

He chuckled and she couldn’t help but smile at the amusement she saw shine in his eyes.

“No, but perhaps we could think about moving in together.”

Felicity took a sip of her wine, for effect. “Are we really having this conversation now?”

Oliver shrugged. “It’s as good time as any.” He leaned back in his chair, letting go of her hand. Felicity watched him, her heart hammering in her chest.

“I,” she started but he cut her off.

“Hear me out before you say anything,” he told her. She nodded. “I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks now. I wasn’t planning on bringing it up but here we are.” He paused for a second. “We’ve known each other for a year now and we’ve been dating for just as long. Some would say a year is nothing in a man’s life but to me, this past year, has been one of the happiest of my life and that counts for something.” Felicity smiled at that. “We spend most of our free time together, we sleep at each other’s place at least four times a week… I think us moving in together wouldn’t be too far-stretched.”

“You’re right, it does make sense but this decision shouldn’t be based on logic and facts only. Our hearts matter. Are you sure you want to live with me?”

“So-phi-a,” he sighed, the name rolling off his tongue perfectly. “I want to see your toothbrush in a glass next to mine, I want to see your many dresses hanging next to my shirts and all your heels next to my shoes. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms and I want to fall asleep on the couch with you every night. What about you?”

She smiled. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to live with such a good cook,” she teased him, taking a bite of her soufflé.

He smiled back at her, that glint of amusement still shining in his eyes. “Besides,” he added, “you said you wanted to focus on getting your teaching certificate next year. If we’re living together, you could reduce your hours at _Jitters_ and really throw yourself into it.”

“I don’t want to be a supported woman,” she warned him.

“I know and that’s why I said “reduce”,” he pointed out.

She tilted her head. “You always know what to say, don’t you?”

“I do.” He waited a second before asking. “So, what do you think?”

She exhaled softly.

When she had come to Oliver’s apartment that night, she hadn’t expected to have this conversation with him. Sure, she had thought about them moving in together, but it had always been in a distant future.

“You know I’m going to drive you crazy, right?”

“You already drive me crazy,” he replied, pointing a finger at the crop top she wore, the piece of handmade crochet exposing most of her midriff and her back to his hungry gaze.

“You also know it’s not going to be perfect all the time? We’ll probably want to strangle each other from time to time.”

“I’m looking forward to all the make-up sex we’ll have.”

She huffed back a laugh. “Well, I guess we’re moving together then.”

Oliver got on his feet, circled the table and stopped behind her. He gently yanked her back and kissed her soundly on the lips.

“I’m happy,” he whispered against her lips as she cupped his cheek.

Her heart skipped a beat in her chest, the way it always did whenever he would say something like that.

She made him happy, this amazing man she loved more than life itself. She made him happy.

“I’m happy too,” she replied, her grin so wide it made her cheeks hurt.

His smile faltered a bit.

“What?” She asked, her neck still craned.

“I just realized we have to tell my parents’…”

She snorted, easily picturing the face of Robert and Moira Queen in her mind. They got along better but she knew she still didn’t meet their idea of the perfect daughter-in-law.

“You mean, _you_ have to tell your parents’,” she teased him.

He groaned resting his forehead against hers. Her hand got lost in his hair as she burst out laughing.

 

* * *

 

 

**_September 2016 – Starling City’s Jitters_ **

****

“Sophia, your boyfriend’s sister is here,” one of her colleagues, Kelly told her. “Want to take care of her before your shift ends?”

“Yeah sure,” Felicity replied.

Thea often came by during the weekend, she said she worked better at Jitters than she did at home. Whenever she was at the coffee shop, Felicity made sure to spend her break with her. She and Oliver’s sister had taken an instant liking to each other and they were now really good friends. It didn’t matter that Thea was six years younger than her. She was smart and fun to be around, with a sharp tongue that reminded Felicity of her mother.

“Speedy hi!” She greeted her cheerfully.

“Hey Soph!” Thea smiled at her but it didn’t quite reach her ears.

Felicity tilted her head, watching the young girl carefully. Her shoulders were slumped down and there were dark circles under her eyes. She looked tired, defeated. It was odd. Thea was never tired, she was a ball of energy, always moving, always happily chatting.

“Are you alright?” Felicity asked her, bumping her shoulder with her notepad.

Thea shrugged. “Yeah I’m fine. I just have stuff here!” She pointed at her head.

“My shift ends in five, you can tell me everything about it then!” Felicity immediately offered. They had passed the stage of their relationship where they told each other stuff a long time ago. “Do you want your usual?”

Thea nodded. A few minutes later, Felicity was sliding in the booth in front her, two steaming cups of coffee in hand and a plate with two muffins.

“So… What’s going on with you?”

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

Felicity nodded, her ponytail bouncing on her shoulders. “Of course.”

“It’s complicated –“ Thea sighed. “Remember how my purse was stolen a couple weeks ago?”

“Yeah, guy was arrested, right? But you didn’t press charges.”

Thea nodded, took a sip of her coffee. “There was just something about this guy…” Her voice softened a little and Felicity leaned forward. Things were getting interesting.

“What’s his name again?”

“Roy,” Thea replied, but her eyes told Felicity she was getting lost in her thoughts. “He didn’t steal the purse for him, you know? He did it because his mother’s an addict and they needed the money for her next fix. I figured he already had enough on his plate.”

“That was very kind of you.”

“I tried to help him, I asked Tommy if he had a job for him at _Verdant_.”  

Felicity blinked. “You – you – do you like this guy?”

Thea took another sip of her coffee, hiding her blushing cheeks behind her cup. “I don’t know… There’s just something about him, something in his eyes… I can’t explain it.”

“ _Love comes in at the eye_ ,” Felicity quoted, taking a sip of her own coffee.

Thea narrowed her eyes on her. “Did you just quote _Game of Thrones_ to me?”

“What if I did?”

Thea shook her head, chuckling. “It’s okay. But wait a second… Who said anything about love?”

She faked an offended look that made Felicity laugh. “No one said anything about love. Now go on! Did Tommy have a job for him?”

“Yeah… But he didn’t show up. Said he didn’t want charity from a rich girl.”

Felicity winced. “Men and their ego… He’s proud, nothing you can do about that.”

“Yeah… But I think he’ll take it now.”

Felicity tilted her head. “Why? Did something happen?”

Thea scratched the back of her head. “Yeah… But promise me you won’t freak out, okay? And that you won’t tell anyone, especially not my brother!”

“I’ll be as silent as a grave!” Felicity promised. She had become quite good at it but Thea didn’t need to know that.

“Something happened after I left his home yesterday and there were those guys… They tried to mug me but he chased them away. And he got stabbed in the process.”

Felicity’s eyes widened. “He what!?” Several heads turned in their direction. “Sorry,” she lowered her voice. “He what?”

“He got stabbed. But it was nothing, he’s fine now. Please don’t tell anyone,” she pleaded with her. “It’s already going to be complicated to tell my parents about him as it is…”

“I won’t tell anyone I promise but Thea, this is serious. You could have been hurt.”

“But I wasn’t. Roy protected me.”

“Yeah this time. Listen, I’m all about following your heart and being free to love who you want but you have to be more careful. If something happens to you…”

“Nothing will happen to me. And anyway, there’s no point worrying about any of this, one kiss doesn’t mean anything…”

“Wait, wait,” Felicity cut her off. “You guys kissed?”

Thea gave her a sheepish smile. “He doesn’t like needles. I thought I’d give him something else to think about.”

Felicity grinned. “How was it?”

Thea’s sheepish smile turned into a goofy one.

“Man you’ve got it so bad…” She started laughing. Thea tilted her head in question. “Just thinking about your parents. It’s like you and Oliver are trying to kill them between me and Roy.”

Thea chuckled. “Oh please, Roy will make you look like the perfect daughter-in-law.”

“We’re going to agree to disagree on this!”

“Oh come on, you’ve never been arrested or anything. You’re a good girl.”

Felicity stiffened at her words. She cleared her throat, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. “I’m sure Roy is a good one too,” she said. “You wouldn’t like him if he weren’t.”

“Yeah… But like I said, a kiss doesn’t mean anything. I don’t know where we stand exactly, that’s why I don’t want to tell anyone anything yet.”

Felicity nodded. “I understand. But if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

“I know.” Thea smiled. “I’m so happy you’re with my brother. I feel like I gained a sister with you.”

Felicity smiled and reached for her hand. “I feel the same way.”

Thea squeezed her hand. “Well, since we’re talking about my brother, how are things in paradise?”

“In paradise?”

“Oh come on Soph! You and Oliver are just perfect… You guys are so sweet and so in love, it makes me sick to my stomach sometimes!”

Felicity chuckled. “We’re not perfect, trust me!”

“Tommy and I talked about it the other day. You are relationship goals.”

“It’s… It’s complicated.” She paused for a second. “Yes we love each other but our relationship is far from perfect. It’s not just roses and sweetcakes. We have our bad moments too. We argue and we fight like every couple. But the thing is that even when we’re mad at each other, we make sure the other knows we love them. Oliver knows he can always come and talk to me even if I made him sleep on the couch the night before.”

“Did you?”

“What?”

“Make him sleep on the couch?”

Felicity grinned. “Yeah, once.”

Thea barked a laugh. “You’re my hero.”

 

**_Oliver and Felicity’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

_Everything was dark around her._

_Pitch black, oppressing._

_She was inhaling darkness with her every breath. It filled her lungs, surrounded her heart, spread to her soul._

_She could feel the heavy weight of a pair of eyes on her. Waiting, watching._

_Fear made something clench painfully in her stomach. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead but she didn’t dare move to sweep them. She didn’t dare move at all._

_Until suddenly, she felt movement behind her._

_She didn’t think, just reacted. She bolted away._

_And suddenly she wasn’t completely in the dark anymore._

_She was running down a street at night, the dimmed light of the moon the only thing keeping the darkness from swallowing her once again._

_Rain was pouring from the sky, beating the pavement mercilessly, relentlessly._

_She could barely see two feet ahead of her but she never stopped running._

_She could hear someone behind her, the ominous sound of feet hitting the ground giving her the strength to speed up._

_She meant to call for help but no sound except the one of her ragged breaths passed her lips._

_“I’ll fucking kill you!”_

_She tripped, fell…_

 

And woke up with a jolt.

The first thing she saw was the brand-new ceiling light she and Oliver had bought during the weekend. Then she turned her head left and saw Oliver. He was sleeping soundly next to her, on his side, with a hand lying on her stomach. The sight of his face calmed her down immediately and Felicity let out a shuddering breath.

Her heart was racing in her chest, kicking hard against her ribs, as if she had truly been running for her life. Her skin was damp with sweat and she had to repress a shiver when the cool air of her bedroom registered with her brain.

Felicity closed her eyes but she didn’t relax, the remnants of her nightmare still haunting her. She was stiff as a stick beside Oliver, who was a warm and peaceful presence at her side.  She was, she realized, too scared and agitated to fall back to sleep. Deciding against waking Oliver, she gently got out of his hold and then out of bed. She grabbed her slippers, and in the semi-darkness of their room found his gray hoodie at the end of their bed. She put it on and walked out, silent as the wind.

She padded to the living-room and collapsed on the couch, the pounding of the rain against the glass of the bay window breaking the silence of the night.

A flash of white.

The angry growl of thunder.

Perhaps the bad weather had been the source of her nightmare.

And perhaps not.

_“I’ll fucking kill you.”_

She shuddered.

Her memory of Cooper’s voice was so real, she felt as if he was standing behind her, whispering his promise of death in her ear.

Not a day went by without her thinking about him. She knew he was still in prison, serving his sentence, but she was no fool. She knew, if there was a way out of his cell, Cooper would find it. Then, he’d find her, come for her and honor his promise.

She wouldn’t let things come down to this. If he ever escaped, she’d run.

She’d run far, far away, she’d hide in the heart of the Amazonian rainforest if that’s what it took. But never again would she let him hurt her.

She snuggled into the cushions and zipped Oliver’s hoodie to the top. The fabric was soft and smelt like him.

Safe, she was safe here, in their apartment, in Starling City.

She started playing with the necklace hanging around her neck, a present from Oliver for her birthday. The present had come four months after the actual date but Oliver wasn’t supposed to know that. She had changed her date of birth when she had changed her identity. She hadn’t wanted to take the risk to be tracked down by Cooper, or anyone else for that matter, with her date of birth as a starting point.

“Hey!”

Felicity twisted her neck and saw Oliver was standing behind her. She hadn’t heard him come in.

“Hey,” she replied softly, his presence, strong and solid finishing to comfort her. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

He circled the couch and came to sit beside her. “Not really. I felt you leave, thought you’d come back but when you didn’t, I got worried.”

“I’m fine,” she assured him.

“Then why didn’t you come back to bed?”

“I didn’t feel like sleeping anymore,” she told him.

He tilted his head, concern marring his face. “Is it because you had a nightmare again?”

“Again?”

He gave her a look. “You don’t sleep well Sophia. You’re all tensed and agitated more often than not and you mumble things too sometimes! We’ve been together long enough for me to notice that.”

For a minute, Felicity was at a loss for words. She knew she had nightmares. She had starting having them after her father had left. Things had gotten worse after Cooper but still. She was used to rough nights, to her mind torturing her. And all this time she’d thought she had hidden everything well but she had been wrong. Very, very wrong. Oliver had noticed.

Only he would.

She cleared her throat, tried to get a hand over the irrational fear clawing at her. “I – I mumble things?” She asked. “You never said anything about that.”

He scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, it’s nothing too bad, you just talk when you sleep. No big deal. But when it’s because you’re scared, because of a nightmare, it becomes a big deal… I hate that you’re uncomfortable.”

She reached for his hand, squeezed his fingers. “It’s alright. People have nightmares.”

“Yeah, sometimes. You have nightmares every week.” He paused for a second, his blue eyes searching her face. “What’s troubling you?”

She shrugged, looked away. “It’s just something that is.”

He moved his hand in her hold until he could intertwine his fingers with hers. “I know you don’t like to talk about it but… Is it because of your dad? Your mom?”

She had told him little about her childhood, but what she’d told him had been the truth. He knew her father had left when she was young, he knew her mother had always taken good care of her, working sixty hours a week to pay the bills and put food on the table. He knew her mother had died when she was young, he knew she hadn’t quite recovered from the loss. He knew all that and _it was the truth._

Who cared that her mother hadn’t died of cancer shortly after she’d graduated from high-school? Who cared that she’d actually been killed in a car accident two months into her senior year of college?

The result was the same.

Her mother was still gone and she still missed her with every fiber of her being.

“You’re right I don’t like talking about that…”

“You know you can tell me about it, right? I _want_ you to tell me about it. Let me in.”

“It’s not a pretty place…” She started.

“I don’t care,” he cut her off. “Talk to me,” he pleaded with her.

Felicity realized they had reached a crossroads and their relationship could either grow stronger or fall apart. She loved Oliver more than she had ever loved anyone and she knew he loved her just as much, but love wasn’t the only thing a relationship was built on. And while Oliver wasn’t holding anything back, while he had no secrets for her, she had many. So many, she couldn’t remember them all. And she held back a lot of things because she was afraid to reveal too much, or at least enough for him to uncover the whole ugly truth of her.

She was the daughter of a criminal.

She was a criminal herself.

She wasn’t right for someone as intrinsically good as Oliver.

But she had held back too much. And if she didn’t want to lose him, she had to give him something. She have to give him more than what she had already given him. She had to trust him, confide in him.

“I started having nightmares after my father left. We were – we were very close and after he was gone, and my mother was always working, I felt extremely alone. My father, you see, understood me in ways my mother didn’t and losing him was like losing my best friend, my confident.”

As she spoke, she remembered how he’d sit her on his lap while he was working on his computer, how he’d explain to her exactly what it was he was doing, his voice calm and patient, how she’d understand everything even if she was barely six years old.

“You never saw him again?”

Felicity swallowed back the lump that had formed in her throat. “No, never.”

“Do you think about finding him sometimes?”

She shook her head. “No.”

She had learnt, thanks to Agent Barrett, that her father was a cyber-criminal called “The Calculator” and that he had been arrested in 2012 but that was all he’d been able to tell her. Apparently, her father’s file had been classified.

Oliver just nodded, he didn’t try to press the matter and she was grateful for that.

“I had a –“ she hesitated, “I had a boyfriend before. Before I moved here, before I met you.” Oliver tightened his grip on her hand. “My nightmares got worse after him. He wasn’t exactly a good person…”

“What do you mean?” He was clenching his jaw, hard, his anger barely contained.

“He wasn’t good to me, or to anyone really. He’s gone now, out my life, but… Sometimes, my mind forgets he is.”

Oliver’s eyes softened on her, as if he understood – how could he? She had barely said anything – and she stiffened. “I’m sorry Sophia…”

“Please don’t be…” She pleaded. “It’s okay, I’m okay.”

“If it were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at this hour of the night.”

She didn’t have anything to reply to that. She didn’t have much else to say. She had already told him a lot, and it had left her feeling raw and anguish.

“Will you just hold me? Please?” She asked.

She was close to breaking and she knew he was the only person who could keep her together.

He didn’t say anything, just opened his arms. She slipped in his embrace, buried her head in his neck. He closed his arms around her, held her tightly to him.

There, safe and surrounded by the man she loved, Felicity cried.

 

* * *

 

**_December 2016 – Oliver and Felicity’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

It was late that night when Felicity finally came home. She was utterly exhausted. She had been tired for days but now, she was completely drained.

Things had been complicated for her and Oliver lately. Their relationship was stronger than ever but real life had been getting in the way of their happiness.

For starter, they had been attending many galas and charities. It wasn’t surprising, considering the time of the year, but it was still exhausting. And since Oliver was Oliver Queen, he couldn’t _not_ attend those events. He had tried to tell Felicity to stay home but she had decided against it, both to support him through it all and because she hadn’t wanted to deal with the rumors that would have followed if Oliver had showed up alone.

Aside from that, Oliver had been working nonstop on a new project for Queen Consolidated. He had been waiting a long time for such an opportunity and when it had presented itself, he hadn’t wanted to mess up. He had known it was the project that would prove to his parents he had finally become the businessman they had always hoped he’d be. He had put a lot of pressure on himself as a result and it had taken its toll on him. He had started spending more time working than sleeping, his smiles had become rarer.

Felicity had stayed with him through it all, supporting him as best as she could. She had listened to him, encouraged and pushed him when he wanted to give up. She had dragged him to bed when she’d woken in the middle of the night to find his side of the bed empty, she had surprised him with lunch at the office just to brighten his day a bit with her presence. She had even helped him with the math and financial aspect of the project, being a human calculator and all – it was one aspect of her intelligence she hadn’t been able to keep hidden.

She had done all that and still found the time to work part time at _Jitters_ and work on getting her teaching certificate. Teaching was not a choice of career she had ever considered before. But everything that’d happened to her had changed her perspective on things. She knew nothing she’d do would erase what she’d done as a member of Brother’s Eye. She couldn’t change her past, no matter how much she wanted to. Still, a few years away from Cooper’s bad influence and a long time surrounded by people who loved her unconditionally had made her realize how different things could have been for her, had she met the right persons. By becoming a teacher, she wanted to be the right person for another girl – or boy – just like her, someone with a lot of talent but also a lot of anger at the world. Perhaps she’d be able to send them on a path far less destructive than the one she had sent herself on when she’d decided to trust Cooper.

All these things combined were the cause of her utter exhaustion. But it hadn’t been for nothing. Oliver had called her during the day to tell her the presentation had gone well and his parents had approved his project. He had sounded so happy and relieved on the phone, he had told her to get ready for some serious celebrating.

She was nowhere near ready, her shift at _Jitters_ had emptied her of her remaining strengths. All she wanted to do was crawl up in bed and sleep for the next twenty-four hours.

She was surprised to find the apartment completely silent when she walked in.

“Oliver?” She called.

No answer.

Frowning, she made her way to the living-room.

She gasped when she saw that someone had lighted what had to be a hundred candles and spread rose petals everywhere. On the floor, on the couch, on the coffee table, everywhere! The TV was on and someone had plugged in a flash drive. Pictures were floating on the screen, pictures of her and Oliver, from their first date on the beach, that first Christmas party, their few days in Aspen, that one night at _Verdant_ with Tommy, that double-date with Caitlin and Ronnie, that picnic with Thea, her birthday, their vacation in Hawaii, their weekend in Coast City, their last Thanksgiving… So many pictures, so many beautiful moments, so many happy memories… Her heart was positively hammering in her chest by the time the slide show was starting again.

“Hey!”

She turned around and saw Oliver was standing behind her. He wearing dark slacks and a white shirt. He had forgone the tie, the top buttons of his shirt were opened and he had rolled up his sleeves. He looked devastatingly handsome and something tightened in Felicity’s stomach when she saw him.

“Hey,” she replied, suddenly feeling shy. “What’s all this?” She gestured at the room.

“A surprise,” he told her.

He took her hands between his and Felicity’s heart skipped a beat when she realized how serious he looked.

“Do you know what the first thing that came to my mind after the presentation was?”

She shook her head.

“You.” He smiled, shaking his head. “I’d finally proved myself to my parents but you were the only thing I could think about. I wanted to hold you, kiss you, share this moment with you. And then I realized, it wasn’t just that moment I wanted to share with you. I want to share every moment, every second of my life with you. Because you make everything better. The good times, the bad times… All better with you.”

He went down on one knee. Felicity’s eyes widened. He grabbed something in his pocket. Her heart froze in her chest. He opened a small velvet box and said…

“Sophia Marie Layton, will you marry me?”

She died.

She died and came back to life right there and then.

She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to react.

Of course she and Oliver had had “the talk” but nothing could have prepared her for the actual proposal, for the sight of Oliver on one knee, with a hopeful look on his face.

Absolutely nothing.

She did the only thing she could think of, the only thing that felt right. She sank to her knees and kissed him. When they parted ways, her cheeks were flushed and he was breathing hard.

“Is that – is that a yes?” He asked, out of breath.

She let a shaky breath, smiling all the while. “Yes, of course yes!”

When he smiled at her, it was his brightest, happiest smile ever. He had never looked so beautiful and she knew she’d remember his face, this moment, for the rest of her life.

“I love you,” she whispered, cupping his cheek while he slid the ring on her finger.

He looked up, a new tenderness to his eyes. “I love you too,” he whispered back softly, bringing her hand to his mouth. He pressed a kiss to her palm before bringing her arm around his head. Taking the hint, Felicity wrapped her other arm around his neck. They moved closer together and their lips met in a slow kiss that was all tongue, a kiss that was all love and happiness. His hands skimmed past her ribs down to her waist. Without breaking the kiss, he got on his feet, bringing her up with him.

She pulled away, her lungs burning with the need for air. “I love you,” she told him. “I love you so much,” she said again, the need for him to know how much she adored him a burning living thing inside her.

He cupped her cheek with one of his hands, angling her head so that he could drop kisses down the line of her jaw, down her throat. “I know,” he whispered against her skin, his voice so rough it came out as a growl. “I know.”

Her eyes fluttered close and she lost herself to the sensation of his soft lips against her skin, of his stubble scraping her tender flesh. His free hand stopped at her shoulder and tugged. She let go of him to take her coat off. Then his hand traveled down to her thigh, grabbed it and placed it against his side. Understanding what he wanted, she hopped up, locking her ankles together behind his back.

He started walking, one strong arm braced behind her back, the other holding her head so that he could kiss her the way he wanted. She moaned in his mouth after one particularly bold stroke of his tongue against hers and he hummed back his approval. Something clenched inside her at the sound and for a second she was blinded by her need for him, incapable of coherent thoughts. All she knew was that she wanted him closer than he already was, she wanted him around her, inside her.

The road to their bedroom was a long one. He stopped them against a wall so that she could divest him of his shirt, or more exactly tore it off him. Once the garment was out of her way, she ran her eager hands along the hard planes of his chest, her nails raking down the ridges of his abs. He started walking again, to better stop them against another wall so that he could rid her of her jumper and suck on her nipples through the fabric of her bra. The sensation had her slamming her head against the wall, lost as she was in her pleasure.

Once again, he started walking. His hand cupping her cheek, moved to her hair, tugged gently. “Down,” he demanded.

Far be it from her to deny him anything. She reached for the headband and the hairband she had used to style her hair that morning and took both off, throwing them away the moment they were gone. She shook her head and her blonde curls fell around her face, wild and free.

Oliver stopped in the middle of the hallway and just looked at her, his face a mix of awe and wonder. The blue from his eyes was almost completely gone. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, the arm around her back tightening his hold on her, bringing her impossibly closer to her.

She squeezed her legs around him in response. “So are you,” she replied, gently caressing his cheek with her index finger. He leaned into her touch, his eyes fluttering close. She dropped small kisses on his other cheek, her lips moving to his ear. “But I think you’d look even better _naked_ ,” she whispered, the temptation in her tone barely hidden.

Her words urged him on and he covered the remaining distance to their bedroom in mere seconds. He dropped her on the bed and she bounced on the mattress, laughter bursting inside her. She toed her boots off then unclasped her bra, throwing it away the second it fell off her body. Oliver watched her with hunger in his eyes and it sent a new wave of fire in her veins. She crawled up the bed until her head was resting against the pillows.

She crooked her finger at him. “C’me here.”

He fell on his side, holding his head with one of his hands, the other lightly caressing her naked chest. Goose bumps broke all over her skin. His teasing fingers moved further down, stopping when they reached the waistband of her pants.

“Off,” she breathed out.

But he was in no hurry it seemed. He touched her body with his hands until he grew tired of it and then he replaced his swift fingers with his lips. He washed kissed all over her until the desire coiling inside her left her a whimpering mess. Only then did he take the rest of her clothes off, only then did he put his mouth and fingers where she wanted them most, only then did he give her the release she had been seeking.

She came hard, crying out his name over and over again. It was the only word she could remember.

He climbed up her body. When he kissed her, she could taste herself on his lips but she didn’t care. She never did. She tugged at his hair, keeping his mouth sealed to hers. She didn’t want their kiss to end, she didn’t want this moment of perfect communion to end. So she did her best to draw it out, kissing him with tongue and teeth, kissing him slowly then passionately then slowly again. She ignored her lungs screaming for air, she ignored the violent kicks of her heart in her chest and just kept on kissing him until they were both feeling dizzy, their heads spinning.

Her hands moved down, unbuckled his belt and then pushed to take both his slacks and briefs down. He came to her aid at some point and soon enough, he was naked and ready above her. He thrust against her and her eyes rolled when she felt the heat of him. She wanted more she decided when he thrust against her again, teasing her the way he loved to.

“I want you,” she said, her breathing ragged.

He didn’t reply, just kissed her again, a kiss that was a tangle of tongue and passion.

“Oliver,” she gasped when she was free. She hooked one leg around him and rocked her body upward. It was his turn to gasp and she grinned proudly. Two could play this game.

But Oliver, it seemed was tired of playing games. Grabbing her thigh to angle her the way he wanted, he nudged at her entrance with his erection. She sucked in a breath. It didn’t matter that she had been with him this way before, it always felt as mind-numbly good as it had the first time.

Every time with Oliver, she had come to realize was a first time.

He only gave her a few seconds to get used to the fullness he always made her feel before he took her mouth again in a relentless kiss. He moved his hips in tandem with his tongue in her mouth and she was lost to the world, gone in a place where only Oliver existed, where only the bursts of pleasure that shot through her every time he moved back inside her mattered. She moved with him, her body in perfect synch with his. They were used to dancing with each other and yet it still felt new, still felt as thrilling and exhilarating as it had before. Her hands caressed his sides, his back, everywhere they could reach. It was perfect, she was caught in sheer perfection and never wanted to escape. They moved together, each thrusts bringing them closer to complexion.

When they finally came, they came together, starlight exploding behind their eyelids.

 

**_TMZ_ **

****

“ **Oliver Queen is engaged to girlfriend Sophia Layton**

**12/17/2016 5:41pm PDT**

Grab some tissues ladies, Oliver Queen is definitely off the market!

The heir of the Queen’s business announced his engagement to his girlfriend Sophia Layton by posting a picture with the following caption “she said yes!” earlier today.

_[Click here to show picture]_

Queen and Layton have been dating since 2015 and moved in together during the summer.

 _“We knew it was coming,”_ a source close from the couple revealed. _“They’re so in love, we knew it was only a matter of time before he popped the question.”_

No word yet on a date or a place for the big wedding.

Congrats to the happy couple!”

 

* * *

 

 

**_April 2017 – A bridal store, Starling City_ **

****

Felicity lost it after she tried on what seemed to be the hundredth dress.

It wasn’t the one, like the other ninety-nine or so dresses.

Felicity started crying fat ugly tears alone in the fitting room.

It was too much.

Not the dresses, although trying on a hundred dresses was a lot, even for a shopaholic like her.

No, it was everything. Everything was too much.

Planning the wedding, handling the paparazzi, her classes, her job… It was just too much pressure for her. She was juggling between all her activities and responsibilities, a million things required her attention every day. It was a lot and she had reached her breaking point.

It had been easy at first, fun. Oliver and she had picked a date and then thrown ideas around about the kind of wedding they wanted. It had been simple, playful, them. But then, the date had started coming closer and closer and decisions had needed to be made. It was when Moira Queen, decision maker in chief, had decided to get involved. Things had accelerated under Moira’s supervision, there was no denying that, but things had also taken another breadth. Gone was their foolish idea of a small and intimate wedding, it had been replaced by a monster wedding with over three hundred guests. It hadn’t bothered Felicity much, she’d known what she was getting into when she’d said “yes” to Oliver Queen. Besides, she had never been the kind of girl who spent nights dreaming about her perfect wedding. So Moira wasn’t technically disrupting anything for her. If anything, Felicity was grateful for her help. Moira knew what needed to be done, she never forgot anything and whatever it was she did, it was always perfect. Really, Moira’s intervention was a blessing in the midst of the chaos.

Still, in spite of Moira’s involvement, in spite of Oliver’s undying support, in spite of Caitlin and Thea’s presence, Felicity had never felt more alone in her life.

She may never have spent nights dreaming about her wedding but she knew someone who had. She knew someone had spent her whole life wishing for her to find a man who’d love her unconditionally, who’d marry her someday and then build a home with her.

Her mother.

It was the heart of Felicity’s problem, the reason for her tears.

She was surrounded by people but missed the one person she needed the most.

Her mother should have accompanied her to visit venues, she should have been with her to taste cakes and more importantly she should have been with her when she’d tried on all these dresses.

She should have gotten to see her in her wedding dress.

But she never would.

And it was breaking Felicity’s heart. She was feeling the weight of her loss and it was heavier than a mountain, the pain ran deeper than the ocean.

She heard a knock on the door.

“Sophia, are you okay in there?”

Thea’s voice, laced with concern.

Her kindness and honest worry only brought more tears down Felicity’s cheeks. She barely managed to muffle a sob with her hand.

“Sophia?” The young Queen insisted.

“I’m fine,” she replied, except her voice didn’t sound “fine” at all. It was broken by her tears.

“Thea, why don’t you and Caitlin go get us some coffee?” Moira suggested. “I’ll stay with Sophia until you come back.”

A beat.

Felicity heard some ruffling and then silence.

Finally, another knock.

“Sophia, is it okay if I come in?” Moira asked through the door.

Felicity wiped her tears, got on her feet. She took a deep breath and unlocked the door. Moira pushed the door open.

She took one look at her face before opening her bag and handing her some tissues. Felicity took them.

“I’m sorry,” she said, silent tears flooding her cheeks again.

“None of that dear,” Moira told her. “As my mother used to say, there’s something wrong with the wedding planning if the bride-to-be doesn’t break down at least once.”

The comment made Felicity laugh through her tears. Then cry some more because she wished her mother and her grandmother were still here to tell her things like that.

“What’s wrong Sophia?”

Felicity just shrugged. She didn’t know where to start, what to say.

“Is it because of the dress? You know we’ve barely started looking for one. We still have time to find the perfect one, and I promise you we will find it.”

Felicity was moved by her confidence but it didn’t surprise her. Moira Queen would not be defeated by wedding dresses.

“It’s not that,” Felicity told her.

“Then what is it?”

“I just –“ Felicity’s voice faltered. “I just miss my mother,” she eventually confessed. She dropped her eyes down to her toes, which she had painted a bright pink, feeling very much like a shy little girl again.

“I see,” was all Moira said making Felicity feel like an idiot. She and Moira had a cordial relationship but they weren’t exactly close. It had been stupid for her to confide in her like that, she should have known better and…

“Sit with me Sophia,” Moira asked, leading her to a couch.

They had booked the store for the afternoon – Felicity had been against the idea at first but Moira had had the last word – and since Thea and Caitlin were gone and the saleswomen were going about their business on the first floor, they were alone.

“Come on,” Moira urged her when she didn’t move, patting the spot next to her.

Felicity obeyed and came to sit next to her.

“What was your mother like?” Moira asked her.

Felicity was surprised by the question but decided to answer nonetheless. “Not like you.” The words passed her lips before she could hold them back. They made Moira smile. “She was enthusiastic about everything, very exuberant. She was very protective of me. She challenged everyone who’d dare make fun of me at school.” She smiled as more memories came to her. She found that it didn’t hurt to talk about her mother. If anything, it made her feel better. “I know she would have loved to be here today. She would have loved to see me like this,” she pointed out at the gorgeous wedding dress she had yet to take off.

“Just like any mother,” Moira agreed. “I’m sorry she’s gone,” she added after a while. “I know we had a rocky start, to say the least, but I’ve grown quite fond of you Sophia. You’re a nice girl and I know you truly love my son. Now, I know I can’t replace your mother but I want you to know I’ll be one to you nonetheless. Not only because you’re marrying my son and entering my family, but also because I care about you.” She paused for a second. “You’re not alone.” Then she did something that moved Felicity even more than her speech.

She reached for her hand and took it in hers.

“Thank you,” she said, feeling her heart swell in her chest with both happiness and gratefulness.

“No thank you,” Moira countered.

Felicity tiled her head.

“For being someone I’m proud to call “daughter”.”

 

* * *

 

 

**_August 2017 – A villa, Positano (Italy)_ **

****

Felicity couldn’t for the life of her listen to a word Oliver was saying.

They were spending a week of vacation in a splendid villa in Positano, had been there for a couple of days now, but she might as well have been on another planet because she didn’t remember a single moment of these days.

She had been too busy worrying to notice anything.

And it seemed she couldn’t keep her worry to herself anymore because the next seconds had her bluntly saying.

“I’m late.”

Oliver, who had been taking a sip of his wine, choked on it and started coughing. He was red as a tomato when he finally managed to speak. “What?”

“My period are late,” she repeated.

And she was never late. Her period had been regular as clockwork since she was fourteen years old.

“How late?” He asked.

“Six days,” she told him, something clenching in her stomach as she did.

“But – but you’re on the pill,” he told her. “And you never forget it.”

He was right, she never did. Every day at nine pm, she took her pill. She even had an alarm set on her phone to remind her to take it.

“Yet, I’m still six days late.”

Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose, let out a shaky breath. “Did you take a test?”

She shook her head.

“Alright. I’m going to go buy one and we’ll see what happens next, okay?”

No. It wasn’t okay.

She couldn’t be pregnant. She just couldn’t be.

She clenched her fists to hide the tremor of her hands. Oliver got up, his plate unfinished. He kissed her forehead before leaving, whispering some reassuring words against her skin.

They didn’t reassure her.

She was still sitting in her chair when he came back with the test. She took it from him, moved to the bathroom and did what she had to do. When she was done, Oliver walked in and sat down beside her against the edge of the tub. They both set a timer on their phones.

The long wait started.

Felicity was stomping her foot on the tiled floor, she couldn’t remember being that nervous before. She had done a few terrifying things in her short life, making the mistakes that helped the feds catch her, testifying against Cooper, changing her identity, but nothing had terrified her as much as the prospect of becoming a mother.

She wasn’t ready for it, wasn’t ready to be in charge of another human being.

“Do you want kids?” Oliver asked her.

She knew this was all about her, not about him. He wanted kids, had never hidden that fact. If she was indeed pregnant, the timing would suck but Oliver would be happy about it. He would be happy to become a father. And who could blame him? He had been amazing with Thea his whole life, he’d most certainly be just amazing with a child of his own.

Felicity knew the same couldn’t be said about her. Out of the two of them, she was the most likely to screw up their kid.

“I’m not ready,” she finally replied. “I want kids someday but not now.”

She was still finding herself in this new life she was building with Oliver. A child would mess with things, she knew it.

“Let’s get married first,” she said. “Let’s be happy newlyweds first.”

“But what if you’re pregnant?”

Good question. It had haunted her for days, and it was because she’d been scared of the answer that she’d waited this long to take a test.

She opened her mouth to reply to him, although she had no idea what she was about to say, when the phone in her hand started ringing.

It was time.

She reached for the stick when Oliver stopped her.

“Whatever the result is, we’re in this together, okay?”

She nodded.

He grabbed the stick and handed it to her.

She let out a relieved breath when she saw only one line.

“Oh thank god,” she said, her whole body shaking, her relief so intense. “I think your mother would have killed me if I’d told her we needed a new dress.”

Oliver chuckled and pulled her in for a hug.

“You’re not too disappointed?” She asked him after a few minutes.

He shook his head. “No.”

“Promise?”

He kissed her forehead, long and hard. “No. I know you’re not ready,” he told her. “When we start a family, I don’t want you to be afraid. I want you to just be happy with it.”

She smiled at him, her love for him so strong it made her heart clench painfully in her chest. “I love you,” she whispered. “Let’s make a deal,” she added after a few seconds.

He tilted his head, his interest poked.

“Let’s have the kid talk again on our first anniversary. See how we feel about it then.”

The smile he shot her was so bright she didn’t regret her offer.

“Deal,” he agreed, sealing their promise with a kiss.

 

* * *

 

 

**_December 2017 – Oliver and Felicity’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

Oliver and Felicity were sitting on the couch in their living-room, chatting about their honeymoon when she realized something: she couldn’t lie to Oliver anymore.

It had always been hard for her to lie to him.

It had become harder after the pregnancy scare.

She had realized if they ever had a child, they’d never know her real identity. They’d never know who she really was and therefore where they truly come from.

And Oliver… Oliver would be marrying and fathering a child with a complete stranger.

She loved him too much to do that to him.

She was tired of lying, tired of the secrets surrounding her and clouding her happiness.

She wanted to be honest with him, tell him the truth.

And it was now or never. Because they were getting married the next day and she couldn’t stand in front of all their family and loved ones and promise to love him forever while still lying to him.

She needed to tell him the truth.

And if he decided to leave after that, like she suspected he would, then so be it.

She didn’t deserve a happy ending anyway.

“Oliver, there’s something I need to tell you.”

The tone in her voice got her his immediate attention.

“What is it?” He asked, his head tilted in concern.

“I don’t know how to say it…” Her voice trailed down, her nerves caught up with her.

What the hell was she thinking? She couldn’t tell him! He’d leave and never look back if she did.

But she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she didn’t.

She opened her mouth again, the words on the tip of her tongue, when they heard a knock on the door.

She frowned.

“It must be Caitlin,” Oliver said.

He got on his feet and went to open the door. She reached for his arm, stopped him.

“I really need to talk to you,” she said urgently.

He kissed her forehead. “We have the rest of our lives to talk,” he told her.

 _“Tell him,”_ she told herself as she watched him walk to the door. _“Tell him you idiot.”_

He reached the door, opened it.

She never said anything.

Caitlin walked in.

She still didn’t say anything.

“Soph are you ready to go?” Her friend asked. She was supposed to be sleeping at her and Ronnie’s that night.

“I, uh,” she stammered.

“I’ll go get your bag,” Oliver suggested, leaving for their bedroom.

“Are you okay?” Caitlin asked after he was gone. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost. You’re not getting cold feet are you?”

Felicity didn’t say anything. She seemed to have lost the ability to speak.

“No, no cold feet for her,” Oliver said, his warm hand landing on her lower back. He kissed the top of her head.

She forced herself out of her torpor. “No, no cold feet for me,” she agreed.

They moved to the door where Caitlin was waiting for her. Felicity took her bag from Oliver.

“We’ll talk tomorrow?” She asked.

He nodded. “Of course,” he replied. “One last unmarried kiss,” he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

A heavy weight settled on her stomach after he closed the door.

She wasn’t just a liar, she realized. She was a coward too.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

**_December 2017 – Oliver and Felicity’s apartment, Starling City_ **

 

Oliver couldn’t get Sophia’s troubled look out of his mind.

There had been something about her the previous day that was bugging the hell out of him. He couldn’t pinpoint what exactly.

Had it been her voice? Her eyes? Her stance?

He didn’t know.

But something had been wrong with her and he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

_“There’s something I need to tell you.”_

Her voice had trembled as she’d said the word.

As if she’d been afraid.

But that was ridiculous? Why would she be afraid? She knew she could tell him anything. He loved her to the moon and back. There was nothing she could tell him that would ever change that.

He clenched and unclenched his fists, his fingers itching to grab his phone and call her.

_“No, no cold feet for me.”_

She had repeated his word like a robot. It had been as if she’d been trying to convince herself as much as him and Caitlin. They had actually exchanged a worried look but he knew Cait would have called him if anything had happened with Sophia.

“Oliver my man!” His best friend and best man Tommy called. “Stop brooding and come toast with us!”

He smiled and walked to his friends. They formed a circle, each with a flute of champagne in hand.

“To our good friend Oliver,” Tommy started, “who at age 28 has decided he’s cool with having sex with one woman for the rest of his life.” They all laughed, especially Oliver. “Thanks for making us look bad to our girlfriends!”

They gulped down their drinks. Then Oliver’s father arrived, alone. He knew his mother was with Sophia, helping her get ready for their big day.

“I’m proud of you son,” his father whispered in his ear as he hugged him close to him.

“Thanks dad,” he whispered back, his father’s approval warming his heart, melting all his worries.

Robert pulled away from him, took a good look at him. “It’s time to go.”

Oliver nodded, butterflies bursting in his stomach.

It was time for him to go marry the love of his life.

 

**_The wedding location, outside Starling City_ **

****

Oliver’s heart almost jumped out of his chest when he heard the first notes of the Wedding March.

He took a deep settling breath and waited for the woman he loved more than life itself.

He waited for his Sophia.

Her bridesmaids came first.

Her friend Kelly. His sister. Caitlin.

The three looked beautiful in their purple dresses but he only had eyes for the woman in white following them.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw her.

His girl looked absolutely stunning in her white dress. Her smile was so bright and warm, so happy, he thought for a second it would melt the snow that had fallen over the city during the past week.

Her eyes found his and he smiled at her. Even from the distance, he could see she was wearing the necklace with the bird pendant, the one he had gotten her for her birthday.

She looked so happy all his fears from before were put to rest.

She took a few steps forward, her eyes scanning the assembly.

She stopped suddenly. Oliver stiffened.

Her smile faded away, her eyes widened. Her face turned into a mix of horror and terror.

He had never seen her look like that before.

Her bouquet fell to the ground.

She shook her head as if in denial, took a couple steps back.

Then she grabbed her skirts, turned around and ran.

Everyone in the assembly gasped.

For a few seconds, Oliver was too stunned to do anything. It was only when he heard Caitlin scream Sophia’s name that he reacted.

He started running up the alley and almost tripped on a pair of heels. _Her_ heels. She had taken off her shoes.

“Sophia!” He screamed.

He followed her to the parking lot, heard the screeching sound of tires against the snow.

Then she was gone.

 

**_The Queen Mansion, Starling City_ **

****

_“This is Sophia but I’m not available at the moment! Please leave a message!”_

Oliver hung up and had to fight the urge to toss his phone across the room.

He had been calling Sophia non-stop since she had ran. She’d never picked up.

“Ollie, the cops are here,” Thea announced.

She was still wearing her dress from the wedding, but her hair had fallen down.

He nodded, got up from his bed and climbed down the stairs. He felt cold and numb and knew he’d only feel warm again when Sophia was back in his arms.

“What do you mean there’s not much you can do?” He heard his mother say. “Detective Lance, my future daughter-in-law is missing, you have to –“

“Mrs. Queen I understand your worry and frustration but as I was trying to explain to you, Ms. Layton was not kidnapped. She left of her own freewill. We can’t send people after a girl who got cold feet.”

“She didn’t get cold feet,” Oliver interrupted him.

Detective Lance and his parents looked up in his direction.

“Oliver son, I know this must be difficult for you but…” Detective Lance started.

“But nothing,” Oliver cut him off. “I know Sophia, I know she didn’t get cold feet. She was so happy and then she was scared, I saw it in her eyes.”

_“There’s something I need to tell you.”_

His eyes fluttered close and he clenched his fists.

If only he’d listened to her… perhaps they’d be sharing their first dance as husband and wife.

“Something scared her away,” he said. “But it wasn’t the wedding. She would have called me by now if…” No. He couldn’t finish his sentence.

And he didn’t have to. His father was there to do it for him. “The weather has been snowy for the past week. The roads are slippery because of the frost. What if she had an accident?”

Dread filled Oliver’s gut. His tortured mind came up with images of Sophia, her white wedding dress red with blood. A shiver ran down his spine.

“I’ve mobilized as many people as possible given the circumstances,” Detective Lance told them.

Oliver shook his head and climbed back upstairs.

He’d heard enough.

 

**_Oliver and Felicity’s apartment, Starling City_ **

****

Oliver woke to the sound of his phone ringing. He had fallen asleep with the device in his hand. He looked at the screen and he felt a painful pang tug at his heart when he saw it wasn’t Sophia calling him. He picked up anyway.

“Hello?”

 _“Mr. Queen?”_ A man asked.

“Who’s this?” He didn’t recognize the voice on the other side of the line.

_“Mr. Queen, my name is Nicolas Barrett. I’m a federal agent and the man in charge of the case of your fiancée’s disappearance.”_

Oliver thought he had misunderstood him. “Federal agent?”

_“I work with the FBI.”_

“Why does a fed care about my fiancée’s disappearance?”

_“It’s not a conversation I want to have over the phone Mr. Queen. Can you come down to the police station? My team has set up an office there.”_

Oliver was already moving. “I’ll be there in twenty.”

_“We’ll have coffee waiting for you.”_

**_The precinct, Starling City_ **

 

Federal agent Nicolas Barrett was a tall blonde man with dark gray eyes. He wore a suit and tie but had rolled the sleeves of his shirt up his arms. He was waiting for Oliver at the precinct’s entrance.

He held out a hand. “Mr. Queen? I’m Agent Barrett.”

“Oliver Queen,” Oliver replied, shaking his hand.

“You didn’t take long,” he commented as they walked inside the precinct.

“I’ll be paying tickets for the rest of my life.”

The agent chuckled. “I took the liberty to contact your family as well. They’re on their way.”

Oliver nodded. He’d been in such a rush to get to the police station, it hadn’t occurred to him to call his parents.

“There for you.”

Agent Barrett handed him a cup of coffee. Oliver gratefully accepted it. He had dozed off some time after one am, exhausted. Agent Barrett had called him at two fifteen.

“No offense but you look like you need it,” he told him, taking a sip of his own coffee.

“None taken,” Oliver assured him. He knew he wasn’t looking his best.

They had stopped near what seemed to be a conference room. Oliver could see people busying themselves on the other side of the glass walls. They were setting up computers and other techs, setting files on a huge wooden table, pinning pictures to a white board.

Things looked serious and far bigger than just Sophia’s disappearance.

“What’s going on agent Barrett?” Oliver asked, a dark and ominous feeling settling in his stomach.

“It’s better if we wait until your family is here,” the agent told him, his forehead creased. He looked worried. And if a federal agent looked worried then it couldn’t be good.

Suddenly Oliver wanted to throw up.

His family arrived soon after him. His mother looked as composed as usual, as if she hadn’t been woken in the middle of the night. So did his father. His sister on the other hand looked the part of someone who had barely slept.

“Ollie!” She said when she saw him.

She rushed to him and he opened his arms for her. She hugged him tightly and he closed his eyes, taking comfort in her embrace.

“Did they find her? Did they find Sophia?” She asked.

Oliver shook his head.

After the presentations were done, Agent Barrett invited them inside the conference room. Detective Lance, who had been in charge of finding Sophia, had joined the team of federal agents.

The moment Oliver was seated, his eyes were drawn to the pictures pinned to the board. They were all mugshots. He counted seven, five men, two women. His eyes lingered on one of the women. She looked fairly young. Her skin was pale, except where an ugly purple bruise had blossomed on her cheek. Her hair was raven black with a purple streak, her eyes striking blue.

He knew those eyes.

“Is that Sophia?” He asked, pointing at the shot.

Agent Barrett gave him a sympathetic look. “This is Felicity Smoak,” he told him. “But you know her under her alias, Sophia Layton.”

“I beg your pardon?” Oliver said.

Surely he had misheard him.

Sophia wouldn’t lie to him like that, she wouldn’t do that to him.

It was a mistake. It had to be a mistake.

“This will be easier if I start from the beginning,” Agent Barrett said. “In 2013, a group of hacktivists called Brother’s eyes emerged. Their first act was to hack into the Department of Education and erase the loans of many students. They probably would have erased them all if someone from the inside hadn’t stopped them,” Agent Barrett pointed at the picture of the girl with the bruise. Of Sophia. “But their leader,” he pointed at the picture of a guy Oliver would never have guessed was good with computers, “decided he wanted more. They started stealing money from the richest people in the world and regularly hacked into federal database, just to remind us of their power, of what they could do. Cooper Seldon,” he pointed at the picture of the leader, “grew greedier with every success. At some point, he decided to expose the failures of the system. So they organized their biggest operation and hacked into several database at the same time and stole confidential information from the government. Thankfully, they could never release them. Because someone on their team made a mistake, left a trail our experts were able to follow. We traced it back to them and we arrested the seven members of Brother’s eyes in December, 2014.”

“Felicity Smoak,” he pointed at a picture of Sophia, “was the smartest, most remarkable young woman I’d ever come across in my life. A MIT graduate, she was the genius behind the virus they’d used to hack into our database. The best part is that she didn’t create it to cause harm but just because she could, bored genius that she was.” He shook his head and there was no mistaking the gentle affection in his tone. “She was the one who stopped Cooper from erasing all the students’ loans, she was the one who made the mistake that led to the arrest of Brother’s Eye. Her testimony helped send them all in prison. She disappeared in June 2015 and was never seen again.”

 Oliver’s eyes fluttered close.

June 2015.

Sophia had moved in Starling in June 2015.

“So you’re saying Sophia, our Sophia is this Felicity Smoak?” His mother asked, her tone not betraying her shock or the emotions inside her.

Agent Barrett nodded.

Oliver felt as if he’d been stabbed a hundred times. His heart was bleeding so heavily in his chest, he felt as if he was drowning in it.

He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything but listen and suffer.

“I hired someone to check her background,” Moira said. “If she’d been lying about who she was, they would have found something.”

“You hired someone to spy on Ollie’s girlfriend?” Thea asked, her disgust barely contained.

Their mother didn’t reply. Of course she didn’t. Moira Queen didn’t explain herself or her actions to anyone, not even her children.

“With all due respect to the person you hired Mrs. Queen, Felicity Smoak has one of the highest IQ’s on earth, even I, who knows for sure she’s Sophia Layton, wouldn’t know how to prove it. Because on paper, both these women exist and they are in no way related.”

Oliver had always felt as if Sophia was smarter than she was letting on but he would never have guessed just how much she was holding back. He remembered that one time when she had calculated the budget for one of his projects using just her mind. She hadn’t made a single mistake.

He should have known back then there was more to it than her “just being good with numbers”.

“Now the reason for my presence here is that Cooper escaped from prison a few days ago. Felicity warned me he would eventually find his way out. I didn’t believe her of course, but time has proved her right. You hired, Mrs. Queen, someone to record the wedding ceremony. I seized the videos,” he gestured and one of his colleagues turned their computer to show them the video. “You see at first everything seems to be going well,” they saw Sophia – no Felicity – walk down the aisle, looking happy and perfectly relaxed, “until this moment,” they saw the look on her face morph into sheer terror. Oliver closed his eyes, the memory of her expression still freezing his blood in his veins. “A different angle showed who she was looking at when she decided to run away.”

Oliver didn’t need to see the footage to know the man’s identity.

Cooper Seldon.

“How did he find her?” Oliver asked, his voice shaking.

“Same way I did,” Agent Barrett told him, placing a magazine in front of him. He and Sophia, _Felicity_ , he corrected himself were on the cover.

“She barely looks like her older self,” he whispered, caressing the glazed paper with the pad of his thumb.

“True but look at her ribs.”

She was a wearing a dress with cut-outs that exposed her ribs and the light brown birthmark branding her skin.

“Her birthmark? He found her because of her birthmark?”

“It was the one thing she couldn’t erase.”

Oliver thrust his face in his palms. His head was buzzing with everything he’d just learnt. He heard his parents and Agent Barrett talk but nothing they were saying registered with his brain until…

“We’re doing everything we can to find them both but I’ll be very honest with you, if he finds her first then…”

It was when Oliver decided he’d had enough. He got up from his chair and walked out, ignoring the pleas and calls from his family. He walked outside the precinct. He shivered when the cold air of the night hit his skin but he quickly welcomed the sharp bite of winter. It dissolved the fog of his mind, got him to focus.

Sophia, _his Sophia,_ had lied to him.

She had lied to him about everything.

Her name, her past, it was all a lie.

Felicity Smoak.

Her real name was Felicity Smoak.

Genius girl.

MIT graduate.

Hacktivist.

Criminal.

His head started spinning. He collapsed on a bench and buried his face in his hands.

_“There’s something I need to tell you.”_

He wanted to scream, he wanted to hit something.

He was so angry, so frustrated.

He had lied to her about who he was for months and it had been unbearable. It had killed him every day a little bit more to lie to her and when he’d finally told her the truth, he’d been so relieved, he’d cried actual tears.

She’d been lying to him for _years_ and she hadn’t seemed bothered in the slightest.

What did that say about her?

“She’s a fucking good liar,” he groaned out loud.

Everything about her was a lie.

Her name. Her past. Her hobbies.

Even her hair color!

There was nothing true about her.

He knew nothing about her, her whole life was an act.

And then suddenly it hit him. He loved a woman that didn’t exist.

The truth of it washed over him, devastating in its sharpness. It was when the tears came.

“Do you mind if I sit with you?”

Oliver looked up. Agent Barrett was looking at him, a cigarette in hand. He didn’t wait for Oliver’s answer, just sat down next to him. He lighted his cigarette, took a long drag on it.

“I keep telling my wife I’m going to quit smoking,” he said. “But whenever I try, shit like this happens and I fall right back into it.”

“What do you want?” Oliver asked him, his voice rough.

“Smoke. And talk,” he added after a second.

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough talking?”

“No, I haven’t. I have yet to tell you about Felicity Smoak.”

“Whatever it is you have to say, I don’t want to hear it.”

“Then leave.”

Oliver went to do just that but when he tried to get up his legs refused to cooperate.

He couldn’t leave.

“Felicity Smoak’s father abandoned her when she was seven years old. She was raised by her mother, a cocktail waitress in Vegas. She died when Felicity was in senior year of college. A drunk driver hit her car after her shift. Sad story.”

“She said her mother died of cancer.”

“Well, doesn’t change the fact that she’s dead,” Agent Barnett pointed out, taking another drag of his cigarette. “Felicity was left alone after that. She was a lost kid with way too many IQ points. Not everyone understood the extent of her talent. Cooper Seldon did. I won’t dive into the details of their relationship, they’re hers to share, but after what happened with the students’ loans, she wanted out of Brother’s Eye. Cooper threatened her into staying and she had no other choice. The virus had her digital fingerprints all over it. She helped Cooper until she couldn’t anymore. And then she risked her life to help us catch everyone.” He closed his eyes. “I’ll always remember how his hand was wrapped tightly around her throat when we found them. If we’d been only a minute too late…” His voice trailed down.

  _“I had a boyfriend before,”_ she had said. _“He wasn’t good to me, or to anyone really.”_

Oliver’s heart threatened to soften. He clenched his fists and held onto his anger.

“She didn’t want to testify at first. She said he’d kill her. I told her he couldn’t from prison. I told her I’d protect her. I failed” He shook his head. “We try not to get too attached in this job but Felicity made it hard not to feel something for her. She was just a lost kid and she was so scared…” He took another drag of his cigarette. “She eventually testified, struck a deal with the judge. Not that she would have been sentenced, had she decided to go to trial. Orphan girl, abused by her boyfriend but still brave enough to do the right thing… No jury would have condemned a victim. Even one who didn’t see herself as such.”

Abused.

A victim.

Oliver’s heart clenched painfully in his chest.

But he still didn’t let go of his anger.

“I hope you find her so I can look her in the eyes and ask her how she could do this to me.”

 

**_Starling General Hospital_ **

****

_“Oliver we found her. We’re taking her to the hospital. It’s serious.”_

Agent Barrett’s words were playing on a loop in his mind when Oliver passed the doors of _Starling General_ with his parents and his sister. They were met by Agent Barrett.

“Where is she?” Oliver asked, his heart feeling like crushed glass in his chest, every beat more painful than the previous one.

“She’s in surgery for now,” the federal agent told him, placing on hand on his shoulder to stop him from moving forward, in a corridor where friends and family weren’t allowed, where only doctors and nurses could go.

“How did you find her?” His mother asked, grabbing her son’s arm.

“We were able to locate the last known position of her phone. Then we followed the road and found she’d been in an accident that sent her car down a ravine. Thankfully some trees halted her fall. She’d be dead if it weren’t for them.”

“Any signs of Cooper?” Oliver asked.

“None for now. We’re still looking for him.” His phone started ringing. “Excuse me, I need to take this,” he told them.

“Oliver!”

He turned around at the sound of his name and saw Caitlin run toward him. He frowned, surprised. She had taken the night off because of the wedding.

“A friend called me the moment they brought Sophia in,” she told him. “How is she?”

“We don’t know,” Thea said. “We just arrived.”

Caitlin nodded. “Wait here, I’ll see what I can find.”

She left then, as quickly as she’d come. Agent Barrett came back to them.

“It was the team examining the scene of the accident,” he informed them. “Apparently, they think her car was pushed down the ravine.”

“I thought you said she had an accident?” Moira reminded him.

“She had an accident but it didn’t send her car tumbling down. Someone did that, there was a footprint on the back of the car.”

“Cooper,” Oliver whispered.

“Most likely. I have to go back to the precinct but I’m leaving a team of two men here. The hospital security has also been alerted.”

“Just find the bastard,” Thea told him.

“I will Ms. Queen, you have my word.”

He nodded and left them. The four Queens sat down and waited.

Caitlin came back some time later, but the look on her face was unreadable.

Oliver jumped on his feet when he saw her.

“How’s she doing?”

“Remarkably well for someone who spent hours in the cold after being in a car accident. She was hypothermic when they brought her in. She also had a concussion, a broken leg and a broken wrist. But the doctors think she’ll make it.”

The most intense wave of relief Oliver had ever felt crashed through him.

“Thank you Caitlin,” he told her.

She nodded, smiled a strained smile. “Who were you talking to?”

“The federal agent in charge of the investigation,” Moira replied.

“The federal agent?”

Everything came back to Oliver.

All the lies, everything.

He had momentarily forgotten about them, he had been too caught up in his worry to care about anything past getting to the hospital, but now he remembered.

And his anger flared to life in his chest, an ugly thing threatening to take over control of his body.

“Excuse me,” he said, walking away.

His mother found him sometime later. He had wandered in the hospital for a while with no destination in mind. He had eventually stopped when his legs had started screaming in protest. He was exhausted, there wasn’t a single part of his body that didn’t hurt, though nothing hurt quite as much as his broken heart.

“Can I sit with you?” She asked.

He nodded, wondering how she managed to look perfect even after everything they’d been through since the interrupted ceremony. He was a mess, both inside and outside, while she looked as if she had just woken up after a good night of sleep.

She chuckled next to him.

“What’s so funny?” He asked.

“I was just thinking how hospitals can both be a place of extreme happiness and deep sorrow.” She paused for a second.

“I don’t really feel like talking mother,” he confessed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Fine, just listen to me then.”

“I’m not sure I want to listen either.”

“That’s too bad for you,” she said, her tone even. “I know you’re angry Oliver.”

“You sound as if you aren’t.”

“Because I’m not.”

He narrowed his eyes on her. “How can you not be? She lied mother, not just to me, to all of us!”

“Yes she did and I’d be angry at her if I believed she did it to hurt us.” He opened his mouth to protest but she didn’t let him. “You’re too angry right now to think this through so please hear me out!”

He crossed his arms over his chest and stubbornly looked away from her. When he didn’t say anything she went on.

“Felicity Smoak put everything she was in a box and stored it away, never to be opened again. She created a new person, someone that was nothing like her, someone that was in some ways less than she was. Then she forced herself to be that person. Why would she do that? Why would she go this far? Not to hurt us, no to steal from us. She didn’t even know you were Oliver Queen when the two of you meet. ” She paused for a second. “She did it to protect herself. And I can’t imagine the level of fear and desperation she was in to think erasing herself was the only solution she had.”

“I know that mother,” Oliver said through gritted teeth. “It doesn’t change the fact that she lied to us. We don’t know her, we don’t know who she is.”

“It depends on what you believe makes a person. Do you think our past makes us? Our name? Our appearance? Or do you think our actions speak for who we are? If you think the latter, then you know Felicity Smoak better than anyone. You know she’s kind, sweet and generous. You know she’s smart and selfless.”

“It was all an act mother.”

“Do you really believe that?”

Oliver didn’t know what he believed anymore. He didn’t know what was true, what was not.

He was completely lost.

 

**_Felicity’s hospital room_ **

****

When Oliver walked inside her room, anger and resentment were both leading him.

He didn’t see her, didn’t see her broken body.

He didn’t consider the pain she was in, the fear and confusion she must be feeling.

He couldn’t see past his anger.

“I’m so sorry Oliver,” she started speaking, her voice rough. “I love you, I always have...”

He closed his eyes, pain shooting from his heart.

_Lies._

“Everything you ever told me was a lie. Why should I believe you?”

Tears filled her eyes. He felt the corner of his own eyes burn with tears he refused to shed in front of her.

“Even your name was a lie. _Felicity_ ,” he spat out. She flinched.

“Please, let me explain, you don’t understand…”

“No,” he cut her off.

He couldn’t be here. He couldn’t bear to look at her.

He started leaving.

“Oliver please!” She called out.

He turned around. “You know when I heard what happened to you, some tiny part of me still cared whether you lived or died. Now I don’t know why it mattered.”

He bumped into a medic on his way out of her room.

“Sorry,” he said, barely paying attention to the man.

He started walking away, was turning around the corner when he heard screams.

“Wait!”

“You wait!”

He turned around, saw the two men left by Agent Barrett rush inside Felicity’s room, guns in hand.

His heart froze in his chest.

_Bang! Bang!_

Two gunshots.

Screams.

He was moving before he even realized it. He rushed inside Felicity’s room and saw the medic he had bumped into lying on the floor in a pond of his own blood. One of the agents kicked the gun he was holding in his hand.

“Suspect down,” he said in his com.

His colleague was checking on a shaking Felicity.

Her eyes found his.

His heart started beating again.

He crossed the distance between them with two long strides and engulfed her in a tight hug, hiding Cooper’s body from her view.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, caressing her hair. “It’s over, it’s finally over, you’re safe, I’m here,” he whispered, soothing her as best as he could.

She wrapped her good arm around him and held on tight. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed in his chest. “I’m so sorry.”

He held on tighter. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he repeated it over and over and again until they both believed it.

 

**_Felicity’s hospital room, sometime later_ **

****

Felicity was sleeping soundly in Oliver’s arms when Agent Barrett came to check on her. They had moved her to another room after what had happened with Cooper. She’d wanted to talk but she’d been exhausted so Oliver had forced her to rest, promising her he’d be there when she’d wake up, a promise he had every intention of keeping.

He was still mad at her, and forgiving her would take him some time but he loved her too much to let her go.

God those seconds after he’d heard the gunshots, those seconds when he’d thought the worst had happened, when he’d thought she’d come back to him only to be taken again.

They had been the longest seconds of his life.

“How is she?” Agent Barrett asked him.

“She’ll be fine,” he told him, dropping a kiss on her forehead.

“And how are you?”

“I’ll be fine too.”

Agent Barrett smiled. “Good. She’s safe now. Cooper’s dead.”

He had still been alive when Oliver had come in. “Can’t say I’m sorry about that.”

Agent Barrett chuckled. “Yeah same.” He handed him a piece of paper. “There, we found this in the car after the accident. I thought you’d want to read it.”

Oliver took the paper with a frown.

“You’ll take good care of her, right?” Agent Barrett asked.

“I will sir!”

“Good. Take care of Oliver.”

“You too,” Oliver replied.

He waited until Agent Barrett had walked out to unfold the piece of paper. A lump of emotion formed in his throat when he recognized Felicity’s handwriting.

_“For so much of my life I believed I was unworthy of anyone’s love, unworthy of anything good. But then I met you and everything changed. I realized that if you could see some good in me then perhaps I wasn’t all bad. You saved me from myself Oliver. I had lost my way but you and your love and your smiles brought me home. I was lost but you still found me and never let go and that’s why I’ll love you forever.”_

* * *

 

**_TMZ_ **

****

“ **Oliver Queen married fiancée Felicity Smoak**

**09/17/2018 3:24pm PDT**

Grab some tissues everyone, the Queen and his girlfriend finally got their happy ending!

After an interrupted first wedding and then the reveal of Smoak’s (formerly Layton) involvement in a federal investigation, we all wondered whether or not they’d make it to the altar.

Well wonder no more peeps because these two finally tied the knot in a private ceremony in Bali of all places!

Thea Queen posted a picture of her brother with his new bride and our hearts swooned when we saw how ridiculously beautiful and in love they looked.

_[Click here to show picture]_

Now they’re going to spend the rest of their honeymoon in Bali and enjoy some well-deserved alone time.

Congrats to the newlyweds!”

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you guys think? I know the ending may seem kind of rushed but I wanted to leave myself the opportunity to get back to this verse and perhaps write more about it - if you guys feel like it. Let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> You can find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JustineC_M  
> and Tumblr: http://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to come and talk to me. I don't bite! :)


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